Tuesday, May 31, 2005
And now for something completely different...
actually, it's not different at all since, ask anyone who doesn't like me (and quite a few people who do), I'm a maudlin cow. But I'm feeling totally blah and not having anyone to talk to about it, I'm talking to a computer screen. My, how healthy that is
In fact, I may make a list of things that are dragging me down at the moment:
1) my thighs. And that's kind of literally dragging me down, cos I think I'd sink like lead if I went swimming but I've put on about 5 kilos since I stopped working. Must deal with that. Ain't NOBODY seeing me naked like this!
2) my lack of a confidante. I have 3 or 4 close friends (I've always been one to have a smaller, tighter group of friends than a bigger group of acquaintance types. If you're lucky enough to have a big group of close friends, more power to you) but there's not one of those people I could pour my heart out to. And I'm NOT a particularly private person, I like to share my shit and have other people share their shit with me. I think the more open everyone is, the less problems there'll be. But right now, there's no one single person I can tell everything to
3) realising that a close friend has, for some time now, left me feeling stupid and responsible for every dumb thing that WE have done. If we were both in on a dumb stunt/embarrassing incident together, how come I'm the one being put down and made to feel like a dickhead in front of people whose good opinion I like having? And when I tried to ask this close friend to stop doing this, I was snapped at and not even allowed to finish my sentence. And have been ignored by that person since then
4) a final, fatal bust-up with the SOE. I don't think there's any coming back from this one. And while I stand by everything I said (and think it was long overdue), and while I know that having the whole on/off, good/evil thing taken out of my hands is actually a GOOD thing in the long run (and short run!), it still kind of stings
5) the fact that my sister hates me. My sister's a sanctimonious princess, always has been, always will be (unless something bad happens to her - and nothing ever has - to make her a bit more human), but she and I were always mates, and now she positively LOATHES me. And I don't have a fucking clue why
God, you know what? There's more, but I really cannot be fucked thinking about it all even more than I already have been. And god knows no-one who reads my site really wants to know all this shit but hey, it's my site, I get to write crap if I feel like it
Now I'm going to get drunk, drive to the bottle shop and get more alcohol, eat shedloads of crappy food and watch a movie. I'm not sure in what order
Hope your day/week/month/year has been better than mine!
posted by Bug @ 10:19 pm   9 comments
Monday, May 30, 2005
Hmm, I don't get it, I just don't
Did you have Popstars in your country, wherever you're reading from? Did a record company decide that it would audition thousands and thousands of talented (and UNtalented) singers and make them into Instant Stars,while 'documenting' it all on national TV?
We had a couple of seasons out here in the land of beaches, barbecues and... erm, bushwalking... and while the first two series' were pretty popular and produced 'popular' bands, the other two didn't even make a blip. And I think the people thinking about auditioning for them soon realised that being an Instant Star was pretty crap, since you got NO money and couldn't sign contracts with any OTHER label once your Instant Band inevitably went belly-up (can you tell how much I just adored Popstars?)
ANYway. One of the members of the band from the second season is from my city and he moved back here from Sydney (where he relocated for the 'band', of course, even though he realised that being an Instant Star was crappy and not conducive to writing good music, which he was known for here) not long ago - which is TOTALLY great because my city gets no play and it's the prettiest city in Australia. I love where I live as much as I didn't love Popstars - and he played a tribute to Jeff Buckley tonight (which I've just come back from), since he's apparently his musical idol
Now, I'm willing to bet I was the ONLY person in the room who's NEVER listened to Jeff Buckley (Boo loves him and wanted company, so for $5 cover, why not?). I don't get it. I do not understand the Jeff Buckley thing. I guess I can SORT of understand why some people would like the angsty, soulful thing, and he was kind of pretty, but I wonder how much of the adoration he still gets is because he's dead
And with that in mind, I'm doing another Top 5, this one being the
Top 5 Dead Celebrities I Miss
(or would miss if I'd been alive when they were)
1) Jerry Orbach - I adore Jerry Orbach, always have done, whether it was as Briscoe on 'Law and Order', or the Candlestick from 'Beauty and the Beast', or the mob boss (but loving father) in 'Toy Soldiers'. I think he was absolutely wonderful. I was so sad when I found out he'd died, he's only JUST stopped being my picture on MSN Messenger
2) Marilyn Monroe - yes that's a clichéd choice but she was a goddess; watch 'Gentlemen Prefer Blondes' if you don't believe me (although, me being a brunette, feel free to complain about the title all you like). I love how messed up she was, I think it's great when people are flawed
3) Jonathan Brandis - guys will go 'who?' and girls will go 'aw, he was so cute'. He was in 'SeaQuest DSV' and was my very first celebrity crush and I actually cried when I found out he'd commited suicide. A damn shame *sob*
4) Jack Lemmon - his greatest role was as Gerry/Daphne in 'Some Like It Hot', as far as I'm concerned. Let's ignore the 'Grumpy Old Men' years. He looked like your favourite uncle, you know? Funny AND a nice smiley face
5) Aaliyah - I had only just started to like Aaliyah when she died but I wanted to BE her in 'Romeo Must Die' and I really liked some of her music too (and this is from a girl who generally hates R'n'B with a passion). It's always more sad when it's someone young who's died, but she was dead at MY age and that just wigs me out
So now I want to know any nominations you have, or reasons why my choices are crap, or which celebrities you wish WOULD die (ooh, idea for a future post!). Sharing's caring, after all!
p.s. Sorry if you're a mad Jeff Buckley fan. Feel free to explain to me the error of my musical ways!
posted by Bug @ 12:16 am   4 comments
Friday, May 27, 2005
At last! At goddamn flipping LAST!!
I don't have to be a bum anymore!
My employment agency chick called me today to let me know that one of the firms I'd applied at had accepted me and that I was to call them imMEDiately to find out start dates and salary and everything. GOODO!
It's not that I didn't enjoy sleeping in till all hours of the morning (and sometimes afternoon) and being able to go out every night and not have to worry about being hungover the next day and hanging out with Tilly the Terrible Puss, but I kind of like having a bit of structure to my day. And my brain DEFINITELY likes having something to do with itself - it's kind of atrophied in recent months!
So after two months of being basically unemployed, and two and a half years before that of being unhappy with my job (although I liked the industry; real estate's pretty interesting), I am about to become a 'combined funds administrator'. And no, I don't know what that is either
But if they're going to give me the salary I asked for and teach me new things and take a chance on someone who's never worked in finance before (unless you count giving people change), then I'll make myself an 'I Y combined funds' t-shirt if they want me to!
So tonight I bought myself a bottle of my favourite wine (Brown Brothers Crouchen Riesling, mmm) and a bottle of CS Cowboy and a bag of my favourite chips. And now I'm in my favourite jammies curled up next to the heater while it's all but snowing outside (and there IS snow on the mountain, damn it!) (Oh, and my city is under a mountain, just so you know. I wasn't talking about some random mountain in the alps or anything) and I'm going to watch a movie and just hang out. Cos pretty soon, I'm probably going to be ACHING to be unemployed again, so I'll enjoy it while I have it!
posted by Bug @ 10:09 pm   5 comments
Thursday, May 26, 2005
Well. That was creepy!
I woke up like a startled earwig at 4am because there was an awful, horrible, scary wailing coming from outside my bedroom window. Attila the Puss, who sleeps on my feet, was awake as well and dashed under my curtains to stand on the window sill and peer out at whatever was making the terrible noise
Now, I love horror movies. Love them love them love them. I watch them whenever I can. And I know the rules of horror movies. The MAIN one being DON'T INVESTIGATE A STRANGE NOISE!!
So what did I do? I went outside, didn't I? I crept outside in my jammies (out to where it was about 2 degrees, brr) and went to the front of the house (where my bedroom is) without even taking a weapon or SLIPPERS or anything. I don't know what I'd planned to do, punch the demon from hell making that noise? Give them a noogie? I don't know
Anyway, I walked around the house and realised that the godawful, blood-curdling screaming was actually a couple of cats. In heat. In front of my bedroom. If you've ever had a female cat, you know how AWFUL that wailing is. Now, imagine TWO of them trying to outdo each other to impress my Cassanova of a puss. Yeah. Loud
See, Tilly is well overdue to have his bits chopped but I'm waiting for a full time job so I can AFFORD it and he's an indoor cat anyway, so it's not like he's going to knock up all the neighbourhood cats
So even though Attila hadn't done anything to set these yowling cats off (he'd been keeping my toes warm, after all), his rugged, masculine, unchopped kitty-kat voodoo vibes had somehow seeped out of the house and turned the neighbourhood floozies into the banshee impersonators they were. Ah, my cat, Attila the Stud Muffin
I stood at my gate and yelled "SHUT UP SHUT UP" at them until they went away. Must've been great for the neighbours, but at least I got back to sleep!
posted by Bug @ 3:36 pm   5 comments
Wednesday, May 25, 2005
Oh dear . . .
*not suitable for my mother. Go away, Mum *
Without going into the back story, since a) I'm the queen of back stories and they lead to gargantuan posts, and b) I can't be fucked, I took a (sort of) vow of celibacy about 7 months ago. Before you get all "whaaaat??" on me, it's not like I swore off sex for life (although if that's what you want to do, a.l.a. Cliff Richard, go for it). But I got tired of being a convenience for people, of being the go-to girl. I swore that I wouldn't sleep with anyone unless they a) knew my surname and b) actually liked me. They sound like givens, don't they? Well they weren't for the way I lived. I also swore off sleeping with guys with girlfriends
This really isn't going to make sense without a back story. Oh well
One of the reasons I took this vow was that I was getting messed up and my head was all over the place and I just felt icky. But I discovered something recently: ALL the guys I fancy have girlfriends. Every single last one of them
There are 3 main guys (don't tut-tut. Who can honestly say that they ONLY fancy 1 person and that's it? It's just not possible):
1) The SOE (Sort-Of Ex). I don't know that I'll ever get over the SOE. He was the first guy who ever broke my heart and he compreHENsively broke it. Like, SMASHED it into litle pieces. It's been 3 years and I'm still not put back together. He still fucks me up every time I talk to him. And I can't stop talking to him. He has a 'girlfriend' of 2 years (he also has another couple on the go because that's what he does, but nominally, he has a girlfriend)
2) Winnie, my favourite bartender. Winnie likes the same music I do, is fun AND funny, sold me a Bacardi and Coke for $1 the other day (instead of $5.50) and is generally beautiful. He has a girlfriend of 3 years (he cheats as well, but he does actually adore his girlfriend. I'm not sure why he cheats)
3) Jeremy, the singer. I've pined for Jeremy for a little under 3 years. He's gorgeous. He's punky. He plays the guitar. He has a fanTAStic voice. He always takes a second to say hello, even in the middle of playing. He has a girlfriend of about 3 years (he also cheats)
For one, can I just say that EVERY guy cheats?!! Why is this?? As far as I'm concerned, if you're REALLY tempted to cheat (not just to perve, cos who DOESN'T perve, even if they're with someone, but to ACTUALLY go further), then you shouldn't be with the person you're with. I've NEVER cheated. But two thirds of the guys I've slept with have actually been cheating on their girlfriends with me. That's AWFUL!
(and before you say I'm a horrible harlot, that's one of the reasons WHY I no longer act the way I used to)
And I realised something tonight: I really, really, REALLY fancy Jeremy. It's not like I'm 'in love' with him (I'm not sure I'll ever be able to feel that way again), but I REALLY like him (to sound very high school). He makes me smile, and giggle, and flirt, and bat my eyelashes, and act coy, and all that shit. To simplify, he turns me on!
And he has a girlfriend. Who he (supposedly) regularly cheats on. Which means that in THEORY, I have a superficial chance (which my friend, who knows him well, pointed out tonight). For a one night stand, anyway
My question is this: is a one night stand with a guy I've wanted for AGES worth giving up my struggled-for vow? IF I could swing it, which I haven't even REALLY tried for?
Why can I not fall for a SINGLE guy? A single, FAITHFUL guy? Just grr
I'm confused. And torn
posted by Bug @ 2:43 am   6 comments
Tuesday, May 24, 2005
Tag! I'm it!
Lordy lordy! I've been tagged! Which, as I said on Léonie's site, is groovy cos it means I get to talk about myself even MORE than I already do! (I promise, if you ever actually meet me, I'll ask you questions about yourself and listen to you and NOT talk about myself non-stop, really and truly I will!)
Hmm, going to ponder some answers while I make myself chicken munchies because a) they're cute AND yummy and b) I'm hungry since I work from 6-11pm and don't get to eat dinner
Ok, back now, fork in hand, so here we go:

1) Total volume of music files on my computer
I canNOT get over this - I have 2.4 GIG of music! That's SHITLOADS! How does this computer still RUN???

2) The last CD I bought was
"Mest" by Mest (thrilling title, huh?). I'm a total faux punk rocker. I WISH I was punky and I dye my hair and wear black and have lots of earrings and a tattoo and whatever, but I'm really more nerd than rebel. It's just sad. But anyway, I LURVE poppy punk rock (Good Charlotte, Blink 182, The Offspring, all that sort of stuff) and Mest are pretty cool, even if that album's 2 years old

3) Song playing right now
"Spare Me the Details" by The Offspring. I'm pretty much playing it on repeat at the moment. Ethel the Frog, my favourite local band, do an AWESOME version of this every time they play. It gets me dancing every time (and that's an achievement cos I'm completely unco)

4) Five songs I listen to a lot or that mean a lot to me (in no particular order)
"Wonderwall" by Oasis. I rowed for 4 years and my second season, Oasis had JUST come out and everyone was in love with "Wonderwall" and I was the unofficial stereo supplier on the bus to our regattas. I hear that song and I still think of being up at 3.30am for a 5 hour drive to the rowing course and how much fun we all used to have together
"Castles in the Sky" by Ian van Dahl. I don't actually listen to it that much (although I used to) but it reminds me of the Sort-Of Ex back when he was a potential newbie and was still a good guy. Actually, I kind of listen to it everyday cos it's my ringtone
"Jack and Diane" by John Cougar Mellencamp. Jeremy, Ethel the Frog's singer, used to sing by himself on Thursday nights at my old pub and my friends and I would go EVERY single Thursday for the WHOLE night and sing along and we just adopted "Jack and Diane" for some reason (we all also spent every single Fridya at work hungover. Every single one .Blecch). It actually got to the stage where Jeremy wouldn't play it anymore cos we asked for it every time we saw him
"Jaded (These Years)" by Mest (feat. Benji Madden). Tony Lovato, the lead singer of Mest, is Benji Madden's (from Good Charlotte) best friend and they wrote the song together and I love it love it love it and play it in my car all the time. Actually, the lyrics kind of sum up me. Hmm
"If I Let You Go" by Westlife. I was just head over heels in puppy love with a guy at school when that song came out (actually, I was head over heels for him for about 5 years, but whatever) and even now, having listened to it at LEAST 400 hundred times, I still think of him and of that particular summer when I hear it

5) Who are you passing this baton to, and why?
Oh god, most of the blogs I read have already been tagged or are too big and busy to have time to do this, I think, so let's see . . .
  • Miss Zoot - because she makes me smile every time I read her page
  • The Random Muse - for the same reason
  • Real Girl - because she gives me girly advice and I don't know much about her other than beauty stuff
  • Boogle - just because she's my (non-lesbian) other half and she's not written anything for donkeys
And I'm done! And that's taken me an HOUR! Jeepers! Well, I have my new jammies on (that I'm addicted to!) and Attila the Puss is rampaging, so I think I'll have to go to bed but thank you Léonie for saying I'm cool (well shucks!) and tagging me!
posted by Bug @ 1:08 am   4 comments
Monday, May 23, 2005
"Have a good wicked night!"
So said to me on Saturday night by a very cute, very drunk, very much too young guy I was 3 or 4 years ahead of at school, who is now apparently LEGAL AGE and that makes me feel OLD!
Ok, so we ran into Cliff last night. Psychotic lying scum-sucking rat fink bastard arsehole Cliff who told his friends that I slept with him (for one, I didn't. For two, he wouldn't LET me go home with him!) and that I called him non-stop (when I didn't call him ONCE. EVER). And he asked Boo for her number, in FRONT of me, who he TOTALLY ignored! I couldn't even think of anything suitably cutting to say! I want REVENGE, damn it!!
On the upside, I snogged a GORGEOUS, BEAUTIFUL, SEXY, HOT, SMOULDERING Italian guy. Actually it's probably his parents who are Italian, he's Australian, but he was so YUMMY! (I also have a hickey from him, which grosses me out - how very grade 9 - but which my grandmother thought was excellent. Cos she's absolutely cool, my grandmother)
I danced my little socks off to a fanTAStic band for 5 hours, I snogged an AMAZING-LOOKING guy and I drank close to a bottle of Bacardi. Oh a good night :)
p.s. If you can think of anything I can do to Cliff, TELL ME! The prick deserves everything he gets
posted by Bug @ 12:09 am   0 comments
Saturday, May 21, 2005
So dumb. So, so dumb
Proof, if proof was needed, that I should not be allowed to do ANYthing besides sit on the couch when I have a cold:
My brother wanted my unblocky nose spray (since he also has a cold and is all snuffly and blocked up and gross)
The nose spray was in my handbag
I grabbed myself a glass of water and headed up to my bedroom to grab the nose spray
My handbag was on the floor
I tucked the glass of water into the crook of my arm and bent over to get the nose spray out of my handbag
I poured the entire glass of water directly into my handbag
Because I'm an idiot. A bleary-eyed, snotty, red-nosed idiot
posted by Bug @ 5:13 pm   3 comments
Friday, May 20, 2005
Ha! My first top 5!
I was reading this morning about a poll released in the UK of the sexiest voices in show business, male and female, and I thought I'd like to disagree, since a) Yahoo! Messenger, who conducted the poll, only interviewed 1000 people, and that's just crap, and b) they voted David Beckham number 5 and while he has a pretty enough face (if you like the vacant look), his voice is SHIT!
Almost everyone I know when they talk about him will say "yeah, he's cute, except when he opens his mouth" or "yeah, he's a good player but what a wussy voice" or "yeah, his hair's cool but he's got a whingey way of talking" (by the way, the only person I know who thinks his hair's cool is my evil sister's metrosexual boyfriend. I think it's only the metros who like his hair)
So anyway, I disagree with their poll and as I have no brain cells today (due to a raging cold that I'm SURE will kill me before the day is over) and therefore no inspiration for anything more interesting, I'm doing my top 5 sexiest male show business speaking voices (I'd be here all day if I was doing singing voices), in no particular order (since order would require thinking):
1) Josh Hartnett
I don't even particularly like Josh Hartnett, although I really liked "40 Days and 40 Nights" and he wasn't bad looking in it, but he has a sexy voice, deep and kind of soothing

2) Vin Diesel
I know, I know, but it is a great voice. Some movie reviewer or other described it as monosyllabic, but in "Fast and the Furious"? When he says "let's go for a little ride"? Oh I swooned

3) Nick Duigan
Now you're going "who??". He's a presenter on a fishing show where he and his mate (they're both actually journos) tour around my state and give kind of a dummies guide to fishing. It sounds a bit stupid but it's the funniest show, they're great. And Nick's both yummy-looking and has a deep, smiley voice, my favourite kind

4) Kiefer Sutherland
Just watch "The Lost Boys" if you don't understand. When people talk about 'whiskey and cigarette' voices, I imagine Kiefer Sutherland

5) Marilyn Manson
Say whatever you want about his music or his make-up (or his girlfriends), there's nothing sexier than a deep, calm, intelligent voice. Yummy

Honourable mentions: Hugh Jackman, Fred Durst, Matthew Goode, Chad Michael Murray, Mark Hoppus
Your thoughts? Your opinions? Your contributions?
posted by Bug @ 1:16 pm   2 comments
Wednesday, May 18, 2005
A question for the masses
Ok, so, imagine that you were suddenly gripped with the idea that your face was being taken over by blackheads, so you used one of those pore strip thingies. Got it? Ok, and then once you'd pulled the strip thingie off (OUCH) the skin on your nose started itching uncontrollably. Still with me? Alright. Now once you've tried everything normal like scratching your nose, rubbing it with scratchy fabric, holding a bag of frozen corn over it (but not using something like calamine lotion because, of course, you live with your dad and brother, who are so manly they don't NEED sissy girly things like calamine lotion so there IS none), what might your next step be?
a) would you ring your mother (a nurse) and ask for her specialist opinion on HOW TO STOP THE BASTARD ITCH??
b) would you dash to the shop and buy some calamine lotion or numbing cream?
c) would you suffer in silence?
or d) would you grab the first medicinal-looking thing you can find in the medicine cupboard, which happens to be Deep Heat, and slather it all over your nose? And then, when your nose feels like it's been set on FIRE, would you wash it off? Or would you stand in the bathroom yelling "Ow! Ow! Ow!" over and over until your brother (who's 6 years younger) takes control, makes you wipe the Deep Heat OFF your face and gets you some milk which he wipes over your nose (milk being known to be soothing and which he'd been yelling at you to put on your nose from the first itch)?
If you, my dear friends, picked d, then you are like me. And also very, very stupid
posted by Bug @ 1:19 pm   2 comments
Monday, May 16, 2005
Again, WHAT do I wear??
So I practically live at my local pub (actually, it's a "cafe & bar". But whatever). Well, it's not really local, since it's in the posh area of my city and I live firmly in the 'burbs, but I'm choosing to call it my local cos I WILL be moving near there. As soon as I find a full-time job and pay off a bit of my credit card and start my car payments again and actually save up something for bond. Oh fuck it, I'd LIKE to live there, ok?

Anyway. I go there ALL the time, like 4 times a week (although there was a stage where I was pretty much there every day. And then there was my OLD local pub - also not really local, actually, across the road from my current one - where I was LITERALLY there every day, including Sunday when it was shut. Make friends with your bar staff - it has perks), and
Boo and I have gotten to know the bar staff there pretty well too. In FACT, one of them, Winnie (who is a BABE), and I bonded over music and I burned (burnt?) him a CD and he burned (?) me a DVD and we talk music trash when he's working and he asks me about whatever book I'm reading (since I read about 5 books a week and I often go to the pub by myself in the middle of the day - don't look at me like that, it has an outside deck and I drink lemon, lime and bitters, I'm not a TOTAL alco! - and read, and it's always a new book) and he gives me triple shots for the price of a normal drink. Did I mention I totally fancy him? Bloody girlfriends, I hate them

AND, Boo is one of those chicks who gay men LURVE. Like, ADORE. And it's not just because her real name may be the same as a certain singer who gay men all ADORE also (what, you didn't realise I use pseudonyms for every single person on here? Silly knobbin! Like it says Bug on my birth certificate!). She's just like that: she's pretty and has an enormous smile and wears bright colours and is loud and vivacious and all that sort of thing so they LURVE her

Now, the owner of our pub is terribly fun, terrifically camp, totally gorgeous and has been with his boyfriend for 20 years in September (it's a crying shame). Incidentally, he also has a 21-year-old son who's not too hard on the eyes. But I digress. The owner, Lem, LURVES Boo: last night he called her his "goddess". He also told me that he thinks I have great boobs and that he loves "tits" (I hate that word) (and why does a gay man love boobs?), but Boo is his favourite
Anyway. The pub is closing and renovating (where will I DRINK??) and they're having a grand opening party and because Lem LURVES Boo so much, we're invited to the opening party which should be fantastically smashing cos they're having free vodka and Red Bulls and champagne and Liquid Cocaines (30ml Absolut Vanilia, 30ml Red Bull, 30ml champers - or regular sparkling if you're cheap like me - totally great cocktail) but IT'S COCKTAIL DRESS!!
Please believe me when I say that I'm not running myself down but I do NOT have the figure for cocktail dresses! I have what you might call a "child-bearing" body. I have hips. I have a bum (although I like my bum). I'm reasonably busty. I have standard female upper arms (read: not Hollywood-thin). I used to have a tiny waist but that was when I rowed - since I stopped rowing my waist is just a leeeetle (a lot) thicker. I have thighs . . . actually, truthfully, it's my legs that stop me wearing most of the things I like. When I was rowing and going to the gym and especially when I didn't live at home and only ate once a day, my legs weren't too bad, since my body overall is actually quite muscular when I work at it (but not in a scary, body-builder way!), but I just don't have the legs for short dresses. And cocktail dresses are ALWAYS short. And the ones that aren't are mid-calf length and those dresses make me look chunky as arse, like I've got two tree trunks for legs or something
So what the fuck do I wear?? I've GOT to go cos it'll be a GOOD FUN (there's a whole story with "a good fun" but I can't be bothered now since this has, yet again, turned into one of my ultra super-duper long posts. Why does EVERYthing I write have a back story?) and there'll be FREE drinks and Winnie will be working (or not working but there drinking, which would be even better, actually! Especially if his wench isn't there . . . hmm . . .) and I get to put on spangly earrings and lots of eye make-up and fabulous shoes! BUT WHAT DO I WEAR??? I'm such a dud with girly stuff! (that's why I read Real Girl's blog - she knows EVERYthing)
Help me someone! I know I only have, like, 5 readers (it's all good, I know I'm only dribbling crap anyway), but surely one of you, or one of your friends, must have some idea about body types and style and all that shit that I DON'T know about! You know who I need? Trinny and Susannah - THEY would know what to dress me in!
posted by Bug @ 12:05 am   3 comments
Friday, May 13, 2005
Oh dear. Reality
It's been about seven weeks since I quit my could-do-it-with-my-eyes-shut job to find a more challenging and interesting position (see that? That's interview speak. See what I've been doing for most of the seven weeks?) and while I survived on my untaken holiday pay-out for about five weeks and have been working nights (I repeat, no, not as a prostitute, Hangman) which gives me a little money to, you know, LIVE on, the vicious reality of what I did by quitting hit very hard today:
My credit card was declined. Maxed out. As in, even the OVERDRAUGHT is spent
I'm not even USING my credit card. All I was trying to do was put $10 petrol in my car and I couldn't. It wasn't too embarrassing cos I did have a little cash in my savings (like, $110) so I could pay but AAAAAAAARRRRGGGHH! PHONE BILLS! CAR PAYMENTS! CAR INSURANCE! HEALTH INSURANCE!
AND, $50 has gone missing from my savings. I don't know who's taken it but I WANT IT BACK!
Don't get me wrong, I still have NO regrets about quitting, it was the right thing for me to do, but I need a full time job! I WANT a full time job! I'm a good worker, I'm smart, I'm great with computers, I make friends with customers - SOMEONE HIRE ME!
posted by Bug @ 5:53 pm   1 comments
Oh. My. LORD.
I just realised that I forgot to write about my (second) (third?) birthday dinner. It was. So. Fantastic. It was brilliant. It was SMASHING. I have never had food that tasted so good. And Mum let me order a bottle of my favourite indulgence wine cos she's a good mummy and let's me have nice things if I say 'please' and 'thank you'! Oh it was SO GOOD!!!

This place is known for having great food and I do eat out a lot but I swear that's the most I've EVER enjoyed a restaurant dinner. If you're EVER in my city, GO to The Steam Packet. GO! In fact, fly here RIGHT NOW purely so you can eat there. I swear it's totally worth it!!
posted by Bug @ 1:17 am   0 comments
Wednesday, May 11, 2005
False alarm
They only wanted to know if they could ring my references
What am I going to say? "Oh, I put the references on my resume to fill up that nasty white space at the bottom but they hate me, so please don't ring them"? Yeah, no
posted by Bug @ 4:49 pm   0 comments
Be still my beating heart!
And no, my heart's not pounding for anything GOOD. It's pounding because I just had an interview. ACTUALLY, I was interviewed for TWO jobs by TWO people but at the SAME time and in the SAME room (although it'd be kind of hard to talk to two people at the same time in different rooms, yars?)
I think they went ok, but I never really know. Oh I loathe and ABHOR interviews! They're awful! They never get easier! And then I've got the questions after (that of course I'm never game enough to ask IN the interview) like, "how much does it pay?" and "is there a uniform?" and "do I really WANT to work in superannuation or is that condemning my eternal soul to a life of replaying numbers in my head when I'm trying to sleep?"
Crikey Moses!
Ooh, missed call from them on my mobile . . .
posted by Bug @ 4:39 pm   0 comments
Oh god, more food . . .
So evidently I'm a hard person to buy presents for (not that I'm a greedy present-grabber, kind of the opposite, actually) because not 1, not 2, but 3 people had no idea what to buy me for my birthday yesterday so they fed me!

It turns out that Cecilia's surprise was a river cruise from the waterfront to a vineyard about half an hour away (by "high speed catamaran", anyway. 10 minutes by car), then a couple of hours drinking wine and eating cheese (and that was great for me cos besides the fact that I LURVE cheese - you know, being a greedy guts and all! - Cecil loathes and despises wine, so I had hers as well!), then cruising on back to the waterfront for gelati

THEN she dropped me off at my favourite pub where I was meeting
Boo, who had a cocktail waiting for me (free from the owner of the pub, since we are GOOD customers who give them LOTS of our money almost every day), had the new bartender (not a potential perve, alas) invent another cocktail just for my birthday, and then took me out for dinner, where I stuffed myself SILLY on beef and napoli ragout with parpadelle pasta and had the BEST cocktail in the ENTIRE WORLD (which really needs a picture to explain it. I'll have to work out how to send it from my phone to the net)

And tonight, Mum and
my brother and I are going to a new, ultra-posh restaurant in a converted warehouse (also on the waterfront. Everything's on the waterfront here!), where I will no doubt eat too much again

I have to say, I love food as much as possible (my family, which I really have to post about sometime, is like an Italian TV family, all food and wine and family secrets and more food, and maybe just a little more wine. Oh, but we're not Italian) but my LORD! I'm getting FAT!!

And I'm STILL being slack and not going to the gym. But Daddy bought me a pack of crispy M&Ms and they're much more fun than sit-ups :D
posted by Bug @ 11:51 am   4 comments
Monday, May 09, 2005
Hmm, opinions on surprises?
I can never quite work out whether I like surprises or not. On the one hand, I LURVE horror movies and the more scary things jumping out of the dark, the better. On the other hand, a friend 'surprising' you with the news that she just gave your boyfriend a blow job (oh yes, it happened), not so great
It's my birthday tomorrow and my friend Cecilia has informed me that I will be kidnapped and forced to spend the day doing whatever it is that she's planned (she also made it clear that she's not keen on what we're going to do and won't enjoy it, but that I will - um, ok Cecil!) but she's refusing to tell me what it is exactly that she's booked (she did tell me that she'd had to book). I know I have to wear a jacket so my guess is we're going to be somewhere on the waterfront, since everywhere else here is super-overheated at the moment because it's so COLD (I miss summer. I miss the beach)
I WANT TO KNOW WHAT WE'RE DOING!! Will there be boys???
What about you, any potential readers I may inexplicably have? Do you like surprises? At Christmas, did you search the house from top to bottom, every cupboard, trying to peek at your presents? Or did you love the suspense on Christmas morning?
posted by Bug @ 12:50 pm   5 comments
Saturday, May 07, 2005
It's an addiction
My lord I love my pyjamas! I mean, there's a reason why this site's called "pyjamaaddict". I literally, LITERALLY have more pyjamas than clothes. I stay in them as long as I can every day. I visit my friends wearing them. I've been for 6 hour long drives wearing them. I've been to bottle shops wearing them (including tonight, when I realised that I had nothing for Mother's Day and thought, "dang, Mum'd love a bottle of Bailey's" - and if not, the rest of the family would. Oh god, there's a whole future post there!)
I have new ones today (which are a leeeeetle too small but they had no larger sizes!! I'll just diet): they're pink and white and have a sort of check-plaidy pattern with a slinky little kitten with diamonte eyes on the pocket. She's awesome. I may call her Tallulah. Tallulah may even be the model for my next tattoo. I thought, let's ignore the fact that I have $90 till next payday (5 days away) and spend $24 on some jammies
Money well spent, I think
posted by Bug @ 11:30 pm   0 comments
Oh my giddy god
I've managed to break my hair straightener. I will now have to live life as a recluse, since my head cannot be seen in public in its natural state. Goodbye smooth, hello fuzzy
God, how did people manage before hair straighteners? I've only had mine for 18 months or so and I LITERALLY cannot remember what I did before it!
posted by Bug @ 12:12 pm   0 comments
Ok, all better now!
Wow. That was a grumpy-arse post! Why did someone not slap me and say, "cheer the fuck up, Bug!"?
So about 18 months ago I was head over heels in crush with this bartender, Taylor (I have a bartender fetish. Understandable when you think that they're keeping my drinks coming. I came to terms with it ages ago. Deal with it). He wasn't even terribly cute but his personality MADE him cute, if that makes sense. He seemed so nice, so chatty, so shy, almost. And then he moved interstate, leaving me slightly heart-broken (not totally, it was only a crush. Real heart break was the SOE. And I don't want to think about him, even though I do all the time)
But he moved back here after only nine months or so and I happened to see him out one night, we swapped numbers again and started messaging
* if you're reading, Mum, GO AWAY NOW. SKIP THIS POST. This is NOT something you want to know *
Hmm, turns out he wasn't so shy after all. Turns OUT that he was completely open to messaging me about what he wanted to do to me, and me to him. Despite his girlfriend. Of about 9 years. Men suck. ANYway, to cut a LOOOOOONG story (and potential future post) short, I used to be kind of wild (as much as you can be without drugs, which I've never touched and will never touch. Call me nerdy if you like. I ain't touchin' 'em) and I did NOT tell him where to go (which I know I should've, knowing about the girlfriend) and he drove to my house one night, I climbed out the window, and we went down to the park and, erm, made quite a bit of noise. After that, we've messaged every now and then, he still makes me drinks now and I moved on to other people (there are SO many reasons why I don't act the way I used to. Please don't despise me. And please, please, PLEASE do not be reading this, Mum)
But anyway. He messaged me this morning out of the blue (at 7.30am. I SLEEP at 7.30am. What is this? I don't work days! Like I'm going to get up before at least 10am!) and wanted to know what I was doing. I told him that I was hanging out at home and then he wanted to know a) whether I was home alone and b) "what size are your tits?"
I didn't reply, which I thought was answer enough and then he sent me a message about 5 hours later saying "you know, it really hurts me when you don't answer my texts". MEN SUCK! I am getting GUILT TRIPPED by the guy trying to cheat on his LIVE-IN GIRLFRIEND, of TEN YEARS????
WHY are men the way they are?? And if, as I know someone will say, not ALL men are, I'm just meeting the wrong ones, how do I meet the RIGHT ones??
Just grr
I kind of had my faith restored a little tonight though. I figured, I've just had half a litre of blood drained from my body, why not replace it with alcohol? It is, after all, Fridya night (it's not misspelled, it's from Sabrina the Teenage Witch. It's funny) and what are Fridya nights for, if not drinking?
So I was at the Mayf, where I used to practically LIVE (although it kind of sucks now) and there were these guys there doing tequila shots by snorting the salt and drinking the tequila through their eyes. I know, I didn't get it either. But there was this girl there, and without trying to sound mean, she wasn't very attractive. She was short and more than a little plump (oh, let's say fat) and not pretty at all and dressed in trackies and just generally not someone who'd be picked up in a bar. Well, one of these guys, who was really nice looking in a 19-year-old kind of way, just started talking to her (prompting one of his mates to yell out "beer goggles, mate! Beer goggles!". Bastard. Like he was a prize) and then introduced himself to her friends and brought them all over to his group and bought them a round! I just loved the fact that he didn't care what she looked like, he'd obviously just decided that she was a good chick and that he was going to hang out with her - how nice is that??
So my goal is to meet a guy like that, although preferably one who's at least my age, who hopefully would NOT either cheat on me or expect me to help him cheat on his current girlfriend (or girlfriends, in the case of the SOE), who would just be a good, tolerant sort of guy
If you find one, please send him my way!
p.s. You know what always makes me giggle? My Dad, who (whom? I'll never get it right) I live with, pretends to hate Attila the Puss, with some reason, since Till has ripped his leather couches to bits. But when he thinks no-one's looking, or when he's had a couple of beers and doesn't care, he'll rumble with him for ages and pat him and smile at him indulgently and even sometimes snuggle with him while watching the TV. It's so sweet :)
posted by Bug @ 12:59 am   0 comments
Friday, May 06, 2005
Grr, my arm hurts
I donated blood today and apparently I may never get the yellowy-greeny-iodiney-looking disinfectant stuff off my skin ever again. My inner-elbow looks like it's rotting. And my arm hurts. And I'm tired. But hey! I got a free salad roll and apple and blackcurrant juice and there was a cute-ish male nurse and they had magazines to read. And oh yeah, it was a good thing to do, right? For my country?
I had some really interesting story to tell, I know it. But I just can't seem to remember what it was. Maybe I donated a bit of my brain as well! Hmm. I might go have a lie down and read some Judith Krantz or something
I'll be back. And I'll be much more animated then, I promise
posted by Bug @ 6:14 pm   1 comments
Thursday, May 05, 2005
Ack! I know I'm a teenybopper but . . .
Oh nooo! For a start, Busted broke up, and I LURVED Busted. I dispute all those people who say that music has to have a message and life experience behind it and whatever. Bah. I like music that a) makes me happy, b) I can sing along to and c) the artists obviously had fun making. Busted's music was like that
And let's face it: Matt Jay's pretty. I mean, yes, OLD picture but he's PRETTY!
And I read today that he's checked into The Priory for alcohol abuse and is in almost total isolation. Even from James Bourne (also from Busted. He was the nice one who DIDN'T break up the band like a little bitch). Which means that they can't be making new music for me to sing along to!
I KNOW I should supposedly be grown up and listen to 'serious' music. Like Coldplay. Yuck. But come on, I LIKE happy music. I still LURVE New Kids on the Block, for God's sake!
Hurry up and get sober, Matt, I miss your voice!
posted by Bug @ 11:33 pm   5 comments
Wednesday, May 04, 2005
Ahh, revenge is sweet (and hot pink!)
So Boo (yes I know I always talk about Boo, but she's the only one of my friends who does silly things with me) has had this on-off crush for a year or so with a guy she used to work with, Robert. They were really good friends at work, spent all day together, messaged each other about The OC, occasionally went for drives after work - they just clicked. Of course, she was absolutely nuts about him and he thought she was a top chick, but no, didn't fancy her. Then Robert got a new job
He left the el posho office where they worked and started at another el posho place and all of a sudden, he stopped messaging, stopped emailing, didn't answer his phone when she rang. It turns out that the 17-year-old girl he had been 'friends' with the entire time Boo and he had worked together, was in fact his girlfriend and that she didn't like Boo, felt threatened by her. And so, being a weak-minded, easily-led coward, Robert decided to put sex over friendship and disappeared
(I'll just interrupt myself and point out that Robert is 24. Granted the little bint girlfriend is now 18, but he's a uni graduate with a reasonably high-powered job. She's in Grade 12. Of high school. Does this show how mature he's not?)
Now, Boo is European, with the temper that goes with it (and no, I'm not being a bigot. I went to a Catholic school, half of the students were European, and almost all our family friends are. They just HAVE tempers! It's pretty much fact! Boo's mother threw a SAUCEPAN at me!) and she decided not to take his chicken shit behaviour lying down. So for the past 2 months or so we've been trying to work out how to get back at Robert, something that'll piss him off but not be illegal
He's a car boy. He loves his car. He lives for his car. He's one of those boys who will be unable to pay his phone bill because he's just spent $1000 on a new exhaust system. You know the type. His car is a surrogate penis. So we thought we'd hit him where it'd hurt most
Egging has been done, it's old
Keying is illegal (and also a bit much, really; we wanted to piss him off, not cost him money)
Letting down his types is too hard, considering his driveway is long, steep and floodlit
So we decided on cornflour, to chuck a handful on the windscreen. What's the first thing you do when there's shit on your window? Turn on the wipers. What happens to cornflour when you add water? Exactly. Mondo mess!
The thing is, we've not had an opportunity to do it because Robert parks somewhere obscure for work (which is probably a good thing, cos presumably cornflour sludgey crap would make it a little unsafe to be driving!). Until today
TODAY we were driving around and all of a sudden, out of nowhere, I saw his car and we pulled over. What to do? We had no cornflour handy, keying was out . . . hmm . . . lip gloss! Boo put a lovely, thick, gooey layer of hot pink, glittery lip gloss on the inside of his door handle (and another layer on the passenger door, so the 18-year-old bint'll get a handful as well) and we fled. Robert's not the type of guy to have a tissue handy so there'll be lip gloss all over him, all over the car, all over the bint. And any girl KNOWS how long glitter and especially glittery lip gloss just HANGS AROUND! It gets EVERYwhere! Excellent
Mature? Er, no, I'd say not. Stupid? Probably, there were cars everywhere! Satisfying? Fun? Worth the risk? Oh absolutely!!
And the best part is, he'll KNOW it was us, but can he prove it? NO!
posted by Bug @ 3:21 pm   6 comments
Oh the sadness
My gorgeous, darling, so-very-fun friend Adrian left this morning, back to his state and AWAY from me! *sob* I wish he'd just move home! He's the only person I know who drinks as much as I do and the only guy I know who understands my messed up brain AND thinks it's funny

On the upside (hmm, is it?), I thought I'd do something good for humanity and donate blood today. That would probably involve me having a shower and getting dressed, wouldn't it? And I know it's after midday and that I'm a lazy wench and that I haven't been to the gym in 3 weeks, much less gotten out of bed before 11.30, but doesn't donating blood cancel that out?? Can I not claim angel points from that? Ooh, and I get free lunch, and I am SO not the type of person to turn down free food!

God I'm selfish
posted by Bug @ 12:29 pm   0 comments
All about us
Older rants
Old as the hills
Template pinched from
Free Blogger Templates