Sunday, April 16, 2006
'What a crappy night' or 'Cecilia is feeling sorry for herself again' or 'HAPPY EASTER FOLKS!'
Good morning and happy Easter people of the blogging world. It is 1.29 am and I have just arrived home from work. I am wearing a yellow chicken in my hair (was truly annoyed that I forgot to take my bunny ears to work - now how often do you get to legitimately wear bunny ears to work?) and making myself feel sick by eating Nutella out of the jar. It's like my hand is linked to my mouth via the spoon in the Nutella jar route, and the part of my brain that connects the sick feelings in my stomach to my hand-spoon-nutella-mouth combination has malfunctioned. Perhaps it's gone away for Easter. I do blame Leonie for making me buy the Nutella in the first place. She said last week I think on her blog how very enjoyable Nutella is, making me realise that I haven't eaten Nutella since I was in Europe well over a year ago now and forcing me to give into Nutella cravings and go and buy a jar and eat said jar.

Pause to insert nutella spoon into mouth, sucking on said spoon until there is not even a smidge of nutella left on spoon. Feel sicker.

I was already having a rather shitty shift at work tonight. I was working a function under the (ahem, cough) supervision (choke on the word) of the young crewleader at work, John of the atrocious treatment of women (the one who told his current sex buddy whom he worked with about his sex life with the nicest girl in the world Frieda) and the kisser of Sharlie (who fell in the river). He never does any work and never has any idea what he's doing (he was a barman who was promoted by two of our previous male supervisors who liked him - never 'worked the floor' on a function in his life, or even spent much time in the kitchen), and relies on the older staff (like me) to basically run his functions for him. Which is fine, because usually I don't have tables in particular to look after, but can run around helping everyone and making sure that things such as coffee are being brewed. Tonight John gave me tables and his little buddy Sharlie (the laziest girl on the face of the planet, I swear) got to be the 'float', which involved her following John around, talking and play fighting with him, having two breaks while most staff had had none, and eating cake while we had run out of coffee and cups and saucers and had 200 people lined up wanting coffee and cups and saucers. I have no problem having tables (it's definately easier than being a float most of the time), it's just that John expected me to do float things too. Like, he and Sharlie hadn't even noticed that we'd run out of cups and coffee (she was eating cake at the time), and when I said "John, you need to get some cups out here" he wanted to know why I couldn't do it. Try: I have 35 people with plates that need clearing and would like some more drinks all in the next 10 minutes, before they have their tables pushed to the side of the room to make a bigger dancefloor. I told him to have Sharlie do it, and walked off. She is so lazy, she just put out the cups and walked off, leaving the next poor busy waitress who passed to go in search of more coffee for the thirsty clients (and it was an AA dinner tonight, so they hit the coffee hard). Stuff like this had gone on ALL NIGHT, with her doing nothing while another couple of experienced staff and I tried to look after our own people and the 'greater good' of the function as a whole.

But this isn't the reason I am eating nutella at now 1.59 am on Easter morning.

Eat some more nutella, licking the end of the spoon where it had fallen into the jar and gotten all sticky with nutella.

Katie (remember her, the girl whose parents sold her car without telling her, and didn't even give her the money?), Frieda (nicest girl in the world, cruelly treated by John) and I were down in the staff canteen on a well-earned break. We were sitting at one end of a long table. Luke, the very ocker barman enters the canteen. Luke is 35 and acts like he's still a 25 year old surfer stud with girls swooning at his feet and his life ahead of him, rather than a 35 year old sexist surfing bloke with greying hair whose black work vest hides an expanding potbelly, while the only job he can get is that of a casual barman. Quite a few of the other girls hate Luke, for his sexist outlook on life and his extreme violent rages he flies into sometimes (possibly caused by a few too many blows to the head by his surfboard and a few too many beers over the years). I have always gotten on quite well with him. He just reminds me of some of my dad's old blokey-bloke mates, those of the 'old school' of Aussie males. Although I was ready to kill him last week when I was trapped all night with him in a small bar, with him blaming me for every mistake he made (it must have been me, as I am the girl who doesn't work in the bar very often, not him, who is near computer-illiterate to the point of not understanding the computerised bar till).

Dip spoon into nutella jar, stick spoon into mouth and suck.

So, Frieda, Katie and I are in the canteen. Luke enters, and stands at the end of the table. Frieda and Katie were sitting opposite each other, closest to Luke's end of the table. I am on the other side of Katie. Placing his hands on the table and leaning down to us, Luke grins like a loon and stands there. We all look at him.
"Now, I don't know what to do. Two attractive girls for me choose between - who will I sit with." We stare at him. Frieda says, "What about Cecilia?"
Luke walks down to our end of the table and squats down. I am closest to him at the end of the table, with an empty seat opposite me, and Katie beside me, and Frieda opposite her. "Now, Cecilia and I have a different relationship to that I have with you two" Luke says to Frieda and Katie. "She's intelligent, and we have a relationship where she talks and I listen." Katie, Frieda and I all look at each other. "So you're calling Frieda and I stupid?" Katie says. "And me ugly?" I say. Luke ignores me (I am after all the ugly one), and speaks to Katie and Frieda. "You two are the kind of women blokes find intimidating, attractive and intelligent." That was all I basically heard. He burbled on some more about how gorgeous Katie and Frieda were, and how Frieda would be not just gorgeous, but sexy if she had long hair, and not just sexy, but the best kind of sexy, 'classy sexy'. I said to Katie and Frieda "I can't handle this", and got up and walked off, chatted to one of the set-up stewards (the guys who set up and dismantle the function rooms for us), then went to the loo, fighting tears on the way. I just couldn't believe that Luke, who I thought I'd always gotten along reasonably well with, thinks of me as just an ugly girl (although a smart one), and dismisses me as basically not as worthy as Katie and Frieda, who are attractive. When I spoke about it later with Katie and Frieda, Katie said "but he didn't call you ugly." 'No, not outright," I said. 'He just said that while you two are attractive and intelligent, I'm intelligent.' And she had nothing to say to that. They didn't even say the usual friend platitudes, like "you are attractive, he's just an idiot". If they had I probably would have cried from the sympathy, but still, they didn't, which makes me think they knew there was no point because I'd see straight through the lie.

And I really hate the use of the word 'attractive'. It's like he's saying no guy will ever find me attractive and I'm doomed to being a lonely old women.

And Bug, if you point out that Mark finds me attractive and would date me at the drop of a hat I will THROTTLE you. I think his liking just grew over the four years we spent in pretty close contact at uni, until during that fourth year when I was the only female friend he was still in regular contact with.

So this has not been a great start to my Easter. I am sad, and I should be eagerly anticipating my Easter breakfast of chocolate softened before the fire.

But still, may everyone else eat themselves sick over this festive time and just enjoy having four consecutive days off work!
posted by Cecilia @ 1:30 am   8 comments
Thursday, April 06, 2006
WHEN will it END???
We have a new boy in my team at work, Ken (we have a new girl as well, but she's irrelevant to this little tale). Ken seems reasonably harmless, nice enough in a try-hard jock kind of way (although he does have long nose hair. At 22 this worries me). Ken is on Deo and Georgio's soccer team, ie. the team who have heard all about/seen the footage of Deo and I from his birthday
I was standing at the printer today, waiting for the SCREEDS of work I'd done to print out, when Ken came up to wait for his work to print too. We were making idle chit chat and I asked if he was working late tonight too (I worked from 8am till 7.50pm. I am TIRED). He said "No, I'm training with Deo tonight". I kind of looked at him but said nothing and after getting my work, went back to my desk
About an hour later I went up to get another load of work and Ken was getting his too. Out of nowhere, he gave me an unwavering look and came out with "So, did you have a good time at Deo's 25th?". Not thinking, I said "How'd you know I was... Oh. Of course you know" and he nodded and replied "Yeah, those boys love to talk. I just tie my shoelaces and listen"
I didn't know what to do, what to say. I said that I'd had an alright time but couldn't really remember as I'd been so drunk (a fib. I was drunk but not blind, and I remember the whole night) and went back to my desk, avoiding him for the rest of the day. But when Deo comes down to visit Ken, which he's done every day so far, he doesn't talk to me, look at me or acknowledge that we've ever met, and that must be OBVIOUS to Ken, knowing what he knows
And while I've come to the conclusion that I'm obviously fair game where fuckheads are concerned, and may as well just enjoy myself without worrying about the consequences, I'm sick of this whole thing. For the first time since I started, I don't look forward to work, work is not an enjoyable place for me anymore. It's really unpleasant when Deo comes downstairs, not only because of the whole birthday incident and how he ignores me, but also because I still really want him and that annoys me
And the question I really want to know the answer to is, just HOW many people know about this? Also, how do I make it go away? How do I make it LESS important to all these people who KEEP fixating on it, even more so that I am?
posted by Bug @ 9:42 pm   3 comments
"Friday" or "The Night My Liver Cried"

* my friend Aston is moving to Melbourne today (oh GOD, toDAY!) to live with his girlfriend so his farewell was on Friday night

* work had friday night Social Club drinks which I went to straight after work (despite my seriously queasy tummy and aching head - I am stoic in the pursuit of alcohol). I had 3 drinks

* went to Sal's, a bar I'm not parTICularly into but which some of the workies love, and had a Bloody Mary and a White Cosmo straight after each other

* Louise, my favourite workie, got really narky with me over the football team I go for, saying that I need to use my imagination and not just follow the crowd (I have barracked for my team forEVER, I don't follow the crowd. The crowd doesn't like my team). I didn't feel like listening to crap so I told the workies I'd meet up with them later and went to Aston's farewell

* at Aston's I found SHEDLOADS of people I'd gone to school with but not seen for years and years and I drank shots and lots of wine and got a little, actually a lot, drunk

* I went to Syrup to find the workies but instead found Deo's best mate Georgio, one of the under-the-door cretins. Under the influence of the wine and the unhappiness I've had for weeks about this whole thing, I burst into tears and cried and cried and cried and told him that I wanted the video deleted. He was sympathetic and rubbed my back and looked after me, but he flat-out refused to do anything about the video

* ran into Andrew, an extremely good-looking guy from work, who was as under the influence as I was. We proceeded to dance for the next 2 hours till he decided he was so drunk he needed to go home. He asked me to go with him. I declined (stupid girl!)

* back in Syrup, noticed that Louise and Fran (our 2IC, who's actually basically our age) were dancing with Deo and Georgio. I did NOT want to join in so I went off by myself...

... and that's the last thing I remember until I decided it was time to go home and I put myself in a taxi...

... which is the last thing I remember until the taxi driver SHOOK me awake at the bottom of my street. I paid him, walked up the street, stopping to throw up in the gutter (oh I know)...

... and then I woke up at 11am, fully clothed (but in bed, at least), with the heater BLARING and my stomach churning and my head pounding

No. More. Big. Nights. Out.

For at least a fortnight, anyway

posted by Bug @ 1:12 pm   2 comments
Monday, April 03, 2006
My First Ever Tag! How Exciting!
What were you doing 10 years ago?

I was 13, and in Year 8 at high school. I was just developing what I though were REALLY BAD pimples. They probably weren’t all that bad, looking back on it. But very few other girls in my year had pimples, so I thought they were disastrous. And I’d realised that I wasn’t going to ‘grow into’ my nose after all. It was probably my worst year of high school, actually. I was betrayed by two friends (they broke into my homeroom at school on a weekend and then wrote graffiti all over the room and my desk about what a slut I was – considering I hadn’t even kissed a boy that was a bit harsh, I think), and then had to for group counselling with the school counsellor (Father Bob) for being mean to them (one of them was stupid enough to tell two other girls at school that it was them that had done the graffiti and the breaking and entering, then was stupid enough to not understand why no-one then wanted to be her friend). Plus my friends were doing quite a lot of marijuana that year, and I felt a bit out of it because I wasn’t.

What were you doing 5 years ago?

This was my first year of uni. I was feeling quite stupid, as I’d gone from topping most of my classes in high school to being one average smart student in classes of 150 very smart students. Plus I wasn’t really enjoying my subjects that much as I had to do the four basic ecological science subjects of Botany, Zoology, Geology and Geography and couldn’t really understand how chopping up starfish and cockroaches could possibly benefit me in the future.

What were you doing 1 year ago?

This time last year I was highly confused. I’d returned from two months in Japan and Europe on Christmas Eve, then had to return to my casual jobs as a waitress and in a filthy fresh produce store (that one I really didn’t want to return to) in order to pay off my credit card. I’d finished uni, but there were basically no job prospects in Tasmania for me (I know people I graduated with who are STILL looking for jobs using their degree), and I wasn’t 100% sure I wanted to do a PhD. All I knew was that I didn’t want to leave Hobart just yet. I was being driven crazy by people asking me “what are you going to do now?”

5 Snacks I enjoy:

- Basically any form of chocolate, preferably Cadburys (except Turkish Delight) or Nestle. I’ve recently rediscovered dark chocolate bountys.
- Samboys BBQ chips, the best chips (crisps to those Brittishers) in the world.
- Twisties or Cheezels.
- Chocolate roundabout biscuits (biscuit base, then a little dab of jam, then marshmellow, all covered in chocolate
- Camembert or Brie on watercracker biscuits (I get this at work sometimes).

5 Songs (you think) you know by heart:

- Many, many Christmas carols.
- Mr Big ‘To be with you’ – my wedding waltz song, should I ever recant my vow of never getting married.
- ‘Buttercup’ – have no idea who it’s by but it’s my favourite song. The most popular Hobart cover band (that plays all the old favs) that’s always playing at functions where I work always play it.
- Quite a few Beach Boys songs, including ‘I Get Around,’ ‘Little Deuce Coupe’ and ‘Surfing Safari’.
- Phantom Planet, ‘California’. How could I not know it? It’s the theme song for The OC!

5 things you would do with a LOT of money:

1) Pay off my HECS debt and buy my parents a new house (which Dad wouldn’t want, because he loves our current house, but mum would), buy them new cars and give them money to have nice things.
2) Go traveling, and take my Mum overseas wherever she wants to go (she’s never been) and take my Nan to France on a cargo boat that takes passengers (for some reason this is how she wants to get to France).
3) Give lots of money to The Dogs Home and The Cats Home (the Cats Home has a section full of cats ‘reduced to clear’ – they’re the older cats that no one wants! It’s so sad).
4) Buy a very funky heritage cottage (3 bedrooms) in a quite street (so my cats wouldn’t get hit by cars) somewhere about Hobart.
5) I really don’t know. Oh, yes I do. Open our (my work girls and I) fantasy nightclub. This is our favorite pastime at work for the past couple of months (alternating with ‘what would you have done if you were offered an Extreme Makeover). I’m the Operational Manager because I’m the most controlling and organised!

Bug and I have a lot of similarities - maybe that's why we are friends!

5 Things you would never wear

Skants (pants with a skirt attached. Such a stupid fashion).
A Wu-Tang or Dadda puffa jacket or other sundry Bogan fashions.
Any tee-shirt bearing such slogans as ‘Brunettes do it better’ or ‘Thank your boyfriend for me’.
Hair extensions.

5 Things you should have never worn:

- Those ugly sneakers I wore for my first two years of uni and thought were cute.
- My slut clothing, notably that red skimpy top.
- Those shiny black pants I used to wear out, coupled with red skimpy top.
- When I was 14-15 I had two tops I used to wear that only just came down to the end of my ribcage, leaving copious amounts of stomach exposed (it was flat then – ‘sigh’). One of these tops was also extremely low cut.

6 Things I enjoy doing

Reading and eating chocolate, especially when it’s cold and rainy outside and I’m all cosy inside.
Going to Body Pump. It’s bordering on an obsession now.
Going to Aqua Aerobics. Yep, getting obsessive now too.
Doing fun things with friends
Wasting time on the Internet. Am very good at that one.
Daydreaming about and researching future holidays.

5 Bad Habits

Eating too much
Eating lots of chocolate
Wasting time on the Internet
Hating my looks/body (this one seriously annoys Bug at times)
Being too controlling and bossy

People I would like to do this

Well, everyone seems to have done it except for Monkey.
posted by Cecilia @ 4:20 pm   3 comments
Sunday, April 02, 2006
Reminiscing... in the name of a tag
What were you doing 10 years ago?
10 years ago I was in Grade 8 (8 Yellow, in fact) and I was hanging out with a Bad Influence (since Cec and I had a window of about 18 months where we weren't friends). In four weeks 10 years ago, the Port Arthur massacre would happen and then a month after that the Bad Influence would get me busted for shoplifting. God I'm glad high school's over!
What were you doing 5 years ago?
I was working at Habitat (a local chain of high-end housewares) and secretly seeing one of the guys I worked with. At the end of that year I got my job at the real estate agency and moved into a villa with Boo
What were you doing 1 year ago?
Almost exactly one year ago to the day, I was newly unemployed, having quit my job without another one to go to. Most of my days were spent sleeping in, reading a bit and going to the bar where my crush at the time, Winnie, worked (actually he'd still be a crush if he worked there - cute as a button); nights were spent going for drives or swimming at the beach
5 Snacks I enjoy
* cheese and tomato on toast
* rice cakes or rice crackers (that's not some annoying girl-on-a-diet snack, I do just actually like them)
* minestrone soup
* choc malt NutriGrain bars
* tuna, cucumber and carrot sushi
5 Songs (you think) you know by heart
Almost every song I know, I know by heart but what are five non-standard ones? Hmm:
* One Misty Moisty Morning - Steeleye Span
* The Ballad of the Shape of Things - Blossom Dearie
* The Philosopher's Song - Monty Python (my teacher and I actually performed this song to my Grade 12 religion class, oh dear...)
* Ob-La-Di, Ob-La-Da - The Beatles
* Don't Stand So Close To Me - The Police (or anything by The Police, really)
5 things you would do with a LOT of money
* get rid of all debts for me and mine and buy my brother and my sister one big present each of their choosing
* buy a solid, well-built but old-fashioned 2-3 bedroom cottage in West Hobart or Battery Point that I could do up and make my own
* give screeds of money to the Hobart Cat Centre, the RSPCA, the Hobart Dog's Home and various breast cancer charities
* spend a couple of months in the Greek Islands
* hire a personal trainer
5 things you would never wear
* calf-length leggings under skirts
* baker boy caps
* a mini-skirt
* short skirts and calf-length boots
* stovepipe jeans
(I would like to point out that Ashlee Simpson has worn ALL those things - further proof, if proof should be needed, that she is the Antichrist)
5 things you should have never worn
* my Grade 9 netball skirt (nope, didn't play netball!) which JUST covered my arse, with a great big fluffy (very comfy and warm) Balance windcheater and my goth boots. A completely schizophrenic outfit
* my brand new, never worn (therefore never washed) green jeans to the ice skating rink. I fell over... and left a big green V on the ice
* the t-shirt that proclaimed "they're real and they're spectactular" (although in my defence it WAS a present)
* a low-cut, tight singlet top to work (but I confess I do this ALL the time. Must stop)
* boy-leg bathers to school swimming. Helloooo fat thighs!
5 things I enjoy doing
* lying in bed when it's raining and windy outside
* reading, reading, reading
* watching old musicals (especially Marilyn Monroe ones)
* singing along to CDs, the radio, tapes, videos, anything
* writing. Back in the day I was even published but 7 years of writers block (no idea why) has kind of destroyed that
5 bad habits
* over-analysing EVERYthing
* drinking. I know and everyone I know knows that I drink too much but oh well, it's something to do
* laughing loudly (not really a habit, I know, but I have a loud laugh and it kind of draws attention. It's not deliberate though!)
* also not exactly a habit but I have a mental block on dusting and vaccuuming. All the other chores I do, but never ever those two
* falling headlong for a new crush, with no emotional protection. Almost every time I end up wounded because I haven't closed myself off a bit but I don't really repress emotions so if I feel something, I let myself feel it and inevitably get a bit (or a lot) trampled
People I would like to do this
I want Cecilia to do this, of course, and I want the Monkey Girl to fill it out as well
posted by Bug @ 9:46 am   2 comments
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