We have a new boy in my team at work, Ken (we have a new girl as well, but she's irrelevant to this little tale). Ken seems reasonably harmless, nice enough in a try-hard jock kind of way (although he does have long nose hair. At 22 this worries me). Ken is on Deo and Georgio's soccer team, ie. the team who have heard all about/seen the footage of Deo and I from his birthday * I was standing at the printer today, waiting for the SCREEDS of work I'd done to print out, when Ken came up to wait for his work to print too. We were making idle chit chat and I asked if he was working late tonight too (I worked from 8am till 7.50pm. I am TIRED). He said "No, I'm training with Deo tonight". I kind of looked at him but said nothing and after getting my work, went back to my desk * About an hour later I went up to get another load of work and Ken was getting his too. Out of nowhere, he gave me an unwavering look and came out with "So, did you have a good time at Deo's 25th?". Not thinking, I said "How'd you know I was... Oh. Of course you know" and he nodded and replied "Yeah, those boys love to talk. I just tie my shoelaces and listen" * I didn't know what to do, what to say. I said that I'd had an alright time but couldn't really remember as I'd been so drunk (a fib. I was drunk but not blind, and I remember the whole night) and went back to my desk, avoiding him for the rest of the day. But when Deo comes down to visit Ken, which he's done every day so far, he doesn't talk to me, look at me or acknowledge that we've ever met, and that must be OBVIOUS to Ken, knowing what he knows * And while I've come to the conclusion that I'm obviously fair game where fuckheads are concerned, and may as well just enjoy myself without worrying about the consequences, I'm sick of this whole thing. For the first time since I started, I don't look forward to work, work is not an enjoyable place for me anymore. It's really unpleasant when Deo comes downstairs, not only because of the whole birthday incident and how he ignores me, but also because I still really want him and that annoys me * And the question I really want to know the answer to is, just HOW many people know about this? Also, how do I make it go away? How do I make it LESS important to all these people who KEEP fixating on it, even more so that I am? |
Best thing to do is ignore it. Not that it's easy or anything. You can't make it go away but if you feign indifference, people won't be able to fixate on it.