| Friday, November 25, 2005 |
| Ha ha ha ha ha! Yes! Oh YES!! |
| Life is good <- click for news that should brighten your day |
posted by Bug @ 1:58 pm  |
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| Thursday, November 24, 2005 |
| Winning a Logie |
So here I am at uni, playing at being a Serious Research Student. My computer in my office is finally hooked up to the school network, so I am able to access my files and, more importantly, the internet, from my very own desk. So, I‘m sitting in my office, in the presence of my two Very Serious Research Student officemates, typing away diligently for the very first time at my desk since I commenced this degree three and a half months ago. I think I’m giving a very credible performance of putting in some Serious Effort at my Serious Degree. My keyboard is going clicking clack, pause, click, click, backspace, backspace, clickity-clack clack. And for fifteen entire minutes it was clicking away at Actual Work, before deciding that it was impossible to sustain such consistent clicking and clacking at Actual Work, and if I want to continue the farce that I’m a Serious Research Student, I’d better switch to something I can clack about for a while, that being me! The fact that both my Dedicated, Hardworking, Highly Intelligent and Motivated officemates sprung me working as a waitress (oops, I keep forgetting, I’m a food and beverage attendant) when they attended a conference at my place of work this week, rather than being at uni, working diligently and tirelessly in the pursuit of environmental enlightenment, has prompted my need to appear as Serious and Dedicated as they themselves are. And if I can make them believe that, then I deserve the Golden Logie. Hell, I deserve an Oscar. Weeellll, to be honest, they already have known from the first day I set put in this office that I did not belong in their hallowed room of Effort and Learning, and have treated me accordingly. My spasmodic presence at uni has fuelled their first impression, so even if I can pull off the Serious Research Student act for this one afternoon, I don’t think It’ll put much of a dent in their impression of me as an imposter, masquerading as a PhD student. And as I’m planning on leaving at 3.15 today (my quest for a smaller bum is much more important than my uni degree necessitating gym attendance this afternoon), not staying till the minimum expected time of 5 pm, I don’t think I’ll be winning any acting awards in my depiction of a Serious Research Student. |
| posted by Cecilia @ 2:46 pm |
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| Sunday, November 20, 2005 |
| Cow Pat-pitations |
Tonight was the first night I've been out with Boo for AGES. I mean, we've met up for drinks and had some after midnighters, but this is this first night we've been OUT for months. She works in hospitality and almost always works Saturday or Sunday or both, and on her off days she's usually with Bumpkin but he was working and she had an early shift Saturday and a late shift Sunday, so she could afford a late girly night * Anyway, I was out with our friend, DJ MC, most of today and he and I met up with Boo about 4 when she finished work. We went for a bit of a drive and then went to one of our pubs for "a drink or two". Of course, it turned into about 7 (I was on lemon, lime and bitters. I WISH I had my full licence!) and then DJ realised he'd been invited to his friend Patrick's house cooling (you have a house warming when you move in and a house cooling when you move out, duh!) * So I dropped DJ at Patrick's house and he insisted that Boo and I should come in, even though it was ALL Pat's rellies (and how scary can THAT be??), and let's just say I didn't really argue * Let's clarify for a second here: DJ and Pat have been REALLY tight for about 6 years but for various reasons (mostly geographic), I've never actually met him. Boo snogged him once at a Grade 11 party (as you do in Grade 11) and I knew WHO he was and had seen him around, but I'd never actually talked to him. But a few days ago I met up with the two boys and we went for a drink, and then Boo met us and we had a really excellent night, talking about music and sharing a cheese platter and drinking wine and cocktails (I know, it sounds all boring and middle-aged to me as I'm writing this but it was GREAT fun) and I ended up really liking Patrick who, it turns out, is LOVELY and CUTE and a little bit self-deprecating (which I love) and smart and listened when I talked and was smiley and just... nice. And not in that annoying NICE way, just nice * So yeah. Crush. Kinda big crush (before you tut tut and shake your head like "here we go again", I'm not a serial crusher. I FANCY lots of boys, but I don't CRUSH on the same amount of boys. Thinking a guy is downright bonkable is different from thinking he'd fit in well at dinner with my family - who are a force to be reckoned with, just so you know - and there aren't very many guys who would. I wrote off my friend Alex's brother as utterly unattainable and no-point-trying-he's-totally-out-of-my-league a while back and William, my friend, has progressed to just a so-glad-I-know-him friend, so I have been crushless for a bit). In fact, Patrick's the kind of crush where I've been daydreaming and staring out the window thinking about him and wishing I was thinner and prettier and more his type. Grr *
Anyway. We went in and Pat was fine, happy to see us and happy to have us there (and introduced Boo and I to his Nanna as his friends, which was lovely considering we didn't meet him all that long ago) and we were hanging out quite happily till Boo and I discovered that there was a girl asleep in his room. Now, I don't know the story of why she was there, exactly. I'm not sure what exactly, if anything, she and Pat had done. But she was there. And I was unthrilled about it. Especially when she woke up and came out and was sitting there while we were talking. So I convinced Boo to leave and we left DJ at Pat's house (DJ's off to Indonesia for a month tomorrow - BRAVE LAD! - so he and Pat had a bit of a farewell) and we arranged to meet them later *
She and I went to T42, our favourite pub (well, it's a bar, really) and chilled there for a couple of hours, while Boo fizzed up in raptures about the doorman, who is a long standing adore-from-afar of hers (although not tonight! She talked OODLES to him tonight, I was SO proud!) and about Rob, the only guy she's ever been serious about (and who she FULL ON GROPED tonight - it was a good night for my Boo! Go you good thing!!) and we met up with one of her workmates (who EVERYone seems to be trying to hook me up with. STOP PIMPING ME OUT, DUDES! I'm not the easy - ha! - option for guys who want a random shag!) then headed over to Irish, where DJ and Pat and their mates were *
DJ was off talking to his random friends (and OH they're random!) while she and I talked to Pat and her workmate and some other sifters. Oh, and did I mention the asleep-in-his-room girl was there? Yeah, she was there. And I went over to the corner for a smoke (I know! It's disgusting and unhealthy and so not the done thing but I was feeling stressed out and fat and blah so fuck it, I wanted one) and was talking to Boo's workmate (who is quite personable, but NO, I will not be sleeping with him like everyone wants me to) when I looked over and thought I saw Patrick snogging the random bedroom chick. I went over and (subtley, don't worry) asked Boo if that's what'd gone on and she said yeah, she'd tried to break it up but sorry, kiss kiss * After that, I wasn't really in a going out mood, so I made sure she was ok and happy to stay out with them and drove to the bottle shop (mango, passionfruit and ginseng, not sick of this wine yet!) and came home to get a cuddle from my cat, since HE loves me * I just... I get really sick of it. I'm fairly violently independent. I HATE people laying claim to me and I INSIST on my life being my own and not being dictated by other people but sometimes, I just want someone to kiss and watch daggy movies with on the couch. Couples who live in each other's pockets, and I know a few, freak me out in a big time hardcore way but I'd like to find someone who gives me a fizzy feeling in my tummy AND is just gnarly to hang out with but I've been single for a hundred thousand years, give or take a year or two. It's not like I don't know who I am if I don't have a boyfriend, but it would be SO NICE to meet a guy who both liked me and DIDN'T think I'd be a random fun shag, you know? Oh come on, you know what I mean * What does everyone else have? Why is it harder for me? And honestly, it is. A girl I went to school with, who is not pretty (not that it should matter but, come on, you know it does) and is very overweight and is really quite stupid and not even a cool chick to make up for it, she has boyfriends. A nasty bogan in the bus mall has a boyfriend (although spray on black jeans don't really do it for me). Why is it that much harder for me? Why am I the one night stand girl? Why do the guys I fall for always have a type that is the OPPOSITE of me? Don't get me wrong, I almost always end up good FRIENDS with the guy, but it's not the same by a long shot, is it?
* I have some really good friends, some good, some great and some out-of-this-world-fantastic, but why don't I have someone to cuddle up with? I'm not even particularly LOOKING for that person! But why, in the long run, has that person not appeared? Or even someone willing to give it a shot?
* You know? * * Update To clarify, Boo was talking about how the doorman-from-afar gave her "palpitations", I heard it as "cow pats" (and yes, I was sober) and the boys at the table next to us made it "cow pat-pitations". I suspect you had to be there but OH it was funny |
| posted by Bug @ 3:23 am |
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| Tuesday, November 15, 2005 |
| A hen's night and a wedding |
So, seeing as I'm at uni and doing no work, I may as well use my time productively and tell you all about My First Ever Hen's Night and My First Ever Wedding. Well, not my own first hen's night and wedding (given that I'm a confirmed 'spinster of this parish'), but the very first ones I've ever been too. As a guest, that is. I've been to at least 40 wedding receptions as a waitress! The saturday before last was the hen's night. I must admit that I was dreading it somewhat. The 'hen' is an old schoolfriend of mine. I wasn't even sure that I'd be invited to the wedding. I only see her a few times a year, and then always at group social functions like Australia Day BBQs or housewarming parties and things like that. We always get on well enough though, and have had great fun in the past plotting birthday jokes to play on a mutual friend. Some of the people I was expecting to go to the hen's night aren't really friends of mine - I know them from school and say 'hi' to them if I bump into them on the street - I think they're a bit boring and we have nothing in common. Nice enough though. And then I was expecting to see my travelling companion from last year. I have never shared with you all the details of my trip away, but to put it shortly, my companion cried every day, often twice a day, for her home, parents and most notably boyfriend. She put me down continuously (apparantly it's a crime to shave your legs, pluck your eyebrows and trust me, don't reach for the mascara) and was just so negative all the time. Plus she hates shopping (yes, I'm pretty sure she's female. Well, at least 90% sure), museums (and we were in London and Europe) and isn't that keen on too much history (yes, we were running out of activities). Our trip away culminated in her coming home two weeks early (thank F***) but this left me alone in Edinburgh for my birthday (a bit lonely, I don't mind admitting). I've only seen her a few times this year, again at group social events, and have been scandalised to hear her tell people what a fantastic time she had overseas. I've wanted to rip out her lying little throat, actually. Plus then she told BLATANT LIES to Bug about something I'd supposedly said about Bug to her (not nice things, either), and I haven't seen her since then. So, wasn't really looking forward to the hen's night. It ended up being okay, though. Just drank lots of tequila and was able to participate in the activities few activities there were with enthusiasm (like pin the cucumber on the 'hunk'. And yes, it was an actual blow-up cucumber. I'm not being polite). It was a bit of a fizzer, though. Only about 10 of her friends showed up (and they'd booked a function room set for 25 people), and a few rellies including her mother, future mother-in-law and futher grandmother-in-law. Considering she'd invited 130 people to the wedding, a few more could have turned out for the hen's night. The wildest the night got was the hen wearing a singlet top with lifesavers lightly stiched on for men to eat off when we went out afterwards. I had to pick my jaw back up from the ground though when travelling companion introduced me to her workmates (whom we saw out) as her 'best mate'. I've only seen her about 5 times this year! And she alluded to when I'd be her bridesmaid and be throwing her a hen's night (oh, you just WAIT!). And then the wedding. I had been alternating between excitement at my very first wedding, and fear at what was to come (namely seeing the bloke who used to be my best male friend this time last year and now I dread seeing, avoided all week - he lives in another state and was down for the wedding - and when we now speak it's so awkward because he 'came onto me' and I freaked out and pretty much threw him out of my house with some very bad lies about being busy, oh, and slow dances where I have to go sit out like a loser because I have no partner, and weddings are very partner-orientated events, usually). The ceremony was nice and short and took place in the botanical gardens. The only drawback was they had it at the gazebo which is in the gardens near a pretty main road, so a couple of times you couldn't hear what was going on because of loud trucks. I found it to be a really surreal experience. Here's someone I've know for the past 10 years, seen grow up, and is my friend, now dedicating her life to someone. It just seems so grown-up! I'm that old now my contemporaries are getting married!! Mind you, several of them already have children, and have bought houses and been with their partners for literally years and years, but still, marriage! It was like, there's a bride over there and she's my friend! The bride looked excellent, though. I know, I know, all brides are supposed to look radiant and beautiful, but hey, if you haven't got it, you haven't got it. You may look good for you, but not good by that awful thing, society's general view on what is attractive. But this bride looked really good. [All uninterested male readers tune out for a dress description now] She's borrowed a dress, and it was made of really heavy white satin and the bodice was embroidered with red flowers. It was strapless, and kind of flowed down into a full skirt from midway down her ribcage, hiding a curvaceous stomach and strong thighs. Perfect for her figure. And she had the sweetest blonde ringlets too. So, I actually enjoyed myself immensly at the reception. Another old friend of mine who's single (and was back from another state for the wedding) and I were put on a 'couples table'. There were two tables full of single people, and then us on a couples table. We just called ourselves the lesbian couple in order to fit in with our table (all the couples were old friends too though). For the wedding waltz, that starts off with the bride and groom, then the bridesmaid and groomsman, then all other couples, my female friend and I took to the floor (well, we must have been a couple to get on that table), then realised that we were the only girls dancing together and ran off to get some males. I got another old friend out on the floor, and my 'girlfriend' took my ex-best-male-friend as her partner. He threw me 'looks' over her shoulder. I may have given my old friend the wrong impression, though. Honestly, you have to be so careful! I just wanted a bloke to dance with and this poor fellow always sits out slow songs so I dragged him up (willingly!) for a dance. Since Saturday night though he's sent me a text message and an email (we have never emailed and texted before), inviting me to two different social outings. It was just like a massive reunion, and I danced pretty much every single song except for one slow one at the end. I had heaps of fun, and it was great! Nothing to be scared of! Except for my ex-best-male-friend only dancing about two songs and spending the rest of his time staring broodingly and, well, just darkly at me dancing while he had another swig from his beer. I think I may even post some photos of me and the bride. Or maybe not. If I did that, any one of those 'old friends' who stumbled over this blog would know who I am, even if I blanked out my face! Yes, I know, I'm a scaredy cat! But so much personal stuff is here that I definately want to be anonymous! |
| posted by Cecilia @ 2:55 pm |
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| A little reminiscing |
Do you ever think about what you were doing this time last year? I've been doing it every single day since the 10th November, when I suddenly realised 'Shit! This time last year I was in Japan!' Since then, I've been thinking about what I was doing every day this time last year. On this day last year I was in London. Hello to all you Londoners! London is very, very fun and interesting (to put it extremely mildly). I think that today one year ago I was in Hampton Court, deliriously happy and in I think a state of shock that I was walking in the very corridor where Katherine Howard ran down to beg King Henry VIII for her life, and treading in the very hall where my all time favourite royal, Queen Elizabeth I, used to dance. Even though I was seriously considering pushing my travelling companion off a battlement or onto some traintracks, I still had some amazingly happy moments in London. You know, the moments when you are filled with such absolute rapture and wonder and joy that it's beyond description. (Absolutely massive sigh) And now I'm here in a dreary little computer lab at uni doing no work yet with oodles of work to do, with no hope of going overseas again for at least three more years, because I only get 2 weeks off a year and I'm not paying $2000 to get to Europe only to spend 2 weeks there. (Even more humungous sigh) At least it's sunny. And we're having spaghetti bolognaise for dinner. Okay, so it's not on the same level as walking over Tower Bridge, but at least it's something! |
| posted by Cecilia @ 2:31 pm |
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| Monday, November 14, 2005 |
| "You seem a decent fellow, I hate to kill you" |
I don't know what's going on! What is WRONG with me this last week? I've cut myself 974,211 times (give or take a couple), fallen some wet stairs on Tuesday and on Friday my stiletto slipped off the edge of one of the steps on the work fire escape and I fell. At this point in time I would like to point out that my work fire escape consists of at least 20 concrete stairs. How am I not dead?? * On top of that, I've started half panicking about things that had never occurred to me before. I've never been someone who'd stay away from things like amusement park rides because there's an infinitesimal chance that something MIGHT break. I'm more from the camp that says you can't NOT do something because something MIGHT happen - chances are they won't so why limit yourself? * But lately, I have this permanent sense of impending doom about EVERYthing. As in, I'll be driving down from the 10th floor of the car park and I'll get sudden images of the structure collapsing and crushing me and Teddy (my car) into nothing. Or I'll be driving behind an enormous truck with a bit of machinery on the back and I'll be SURE that it's about to slam on its brakes so that I'll go careening into the back of it and be decapitated. I was at the beach a week ago and started to hyperventilate about a shark sneaking up behind me (and despite the fact that I live in Australia, with all the scary motherfucker sharks everywhere, that's never been a fear of mine). Even at home, it's there - I was in the bathroom the other day and thought, out of nowhere, "what if the house is on fire??" * It's not as though I've stopped doing anything because of these feelings, but I'm a bit baffled by the fact that they're there. My madré thinks it's because I religiously watch the world news (which is pretty depressing and gory just now) and have become overly sensitive to the nastiness of being alive * Whatever the reason, it's annoying!! |
| posted by Bug @ 2:05 pm |
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| Tuesday, November 08, 2005 |
| Hot cops! |
| Saw two VERY hot young policemen on the way home today. Just thought you all should know. Thank YOU Tasmanian Police Service. You really do serve the community in so many ways. There's just something about men in uniform . . . especially ones who are buff, blond and ruggedly handsome! |
| posted by Cecilia @ 9:43 pm |
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| I think I may be subconsciously suicidal |
Within the last 31 hours, I have given myself a papercut RIGHT on my fingertip (strategically placed to hurt EVERY SINGLE TIME I type something), accidentally sliced my thumb with a pair of scissors, scratched my neck nastily with a jagged fingernail, fallen down the (tile and concrete - ouch) stairs at work and cut down to the fat of my finger with a serrated knife (necessitating a huge wad of Band-Aids and a little splint) * Doing well, I think |
| posted by Bug @ 1:32 pm |
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| Cecilia: Fraudulent Serious Research Student |
I have two things I want to rant about today, but only the time to rant about one. I shall have to save the other for tomorrow. After a lot of soul-searching, I have decided to rave on about the thing that is at the front of my mind today: My Three Month Review.
Today my lovely supervisor and I have my Three Month Review with the head of postgraduate research in my department to discuss my progress to date in beginning the three year marathon that is a PhD, and to go through my Preliminary Research Plan, an eight page document that is a basic rundown on background information to my project, what I’m planning on doing, my timetable (have you ever tried to plan the next three years of your life month by month?), my proposed project budget (oh, it's only going to cost at least $5,000), occupational health and safety issues for my project (given my track record, this will be of paramount importance I should think [tell you another time folks]), and what skills I expect to gain. I’m severely worried that in this meeting it will be revealed:
1) What an absolute fraud I am as a Serious Research Student. Yes, this definitely does need capital letters. Everyone here is a Serious Research Student with the distinct exception (I think) of me. I am Frivolous. I wear dangly earrings on a daily basis and am making a point of never wearing any garment made of polarfleece. I am devoted to Grey’s Anatomy, The OC, and British detective shows (especially 55 degrees North. That night detective’s rear end is in a class all of its own).
2) I spend far too much time at my waitressing job. According to the rules of my scholarship, I’m only allowed to do eight hours of paid employment in the hours of 9 to 5 during the working week (because I’m supposed to be at uni during this time). I have to do three shifts a week there in order to keep my job, and while these usually happen on a Friday and Saturday night, one usually occurs during the week. For example, yesterday I worked all day from 6.30 am until 7.30 pm. For obvious reasons this did not leave me time to go to uni. Well, if I was a Serious Research Student I would have gone to uni and worked through the night after work. But as I am not, I went home and watched Supernanny and Grey’s Anatomy.
3) That I simply don’t do enough work. I feel tremendously guilty because my lovely supervisor keeps praising me and saying how very organised I am to me and to other people. I know that that isn’t the case. Hell, I only do about three hours of decent work a day on my project. My office mate who is a Very Extremely Ultra Serious Research Student has taken to making little comments (in the two sentences of conversation we exchange each day – she’s too busy working to chat plus I don’t think we have much in common [oh, wicked thought just entered my head prompting me to imagine her facial expression if I asked her who she thought was hotter on The OC – Seth, Ryan, Sandy or Ryan’s bad brother) such as ‘You haven’t been in much recently,’ and, when I show up at lunch time to begin my working day ‘So . . . what have you been doing this morning?’
So, have some nerves about this very fast approaching meeting – oh gosh, its only half an hour away! Have this nasty visual picture running through my head of the postgrad research coordinator standing up, pointing at her door and shouting ‘OUT! Out of my office! Out of these hallowed halls of learning! You are a fraud and a trickster! How on earth you ever managed to get a scholarship is something beyond my extreme and highly developed intellect! I'm revoking your scholarship and you're going to have to pay back what you've already been given! You have to waitress for the Rest Of Your Life!’ Meanwhile, my lovely supervisor looks on with disgust and disappointment, shaking her head and repeating ‘I thought she was so motivated, so dedicated. How could I have been so wrong?!!!’ Oh gosh! Half an hour until the truth is revealed. Wish me luck folks!
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| posted by Cecilia @ 1:01 pm |
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| Wednesday, November 02, 2005 |
| What pleasant weather |
I'm going to come across all polite conversation with strangers and distant relatives and have a little chat about the weather today.
The most pleasant weather has been happening down here in my part of the world. 'Pleasant' is a much underrated word, I think. This weather is very pleasant, in that it's nice and enjoyable and makes you feel all happy and summery and like skipping down the street singing Beach Boys songs. This kind of weather is one notch up from the 15 - 16 degrees that was the norm in October, yet not the nasty sun crashing down like it wants to kill you manner. I haven't seen the weather report for the past week, but I would say (in my oh-so-weather-wise manner) that it's been about 22 - 25 degrees each day. Hot enough to get a tan if you lie directly in the sun for about half an hour, yet not so hot that you get burnt the moment you poke your newly-exposed trouserless legs in their winter coating of white in the direction of a sunbeam. Today it was 28 degrees by 10am, which usually feels a bit hot for comfort for me, yet it was a little cloudy taking the edge off the sun's heat. At 1.45 pm I decided to go off in search of some lunch, and strolled off down the corridor of my uni building, stopping first to visit the ladies. (Not the nice office ladies, or the reading room lady, I'm trying to refer in polite terms to the loo so as not to offend any American readers, who I have been informed shudder in horror at any direct mention of the toilet and consider it the height of rudeness to call the loo the loo). While washing my hands and happily contemplating my wander across campus to the ref (short for reflectory, what we call the cafeteria for some unknown reason) in the joy-filling sun, I realised that the view from the window was dark, and that noise I could hear wasn't a heavy truck rolling past outside, it was a torrential downpour. This downpour lasted for only 45 minutes, and while it did make my feet all squelchy in their summer footwear of slides, luckily I had my umbrella in my bag and was able to acquire my much anticipated vegetarian quiche from the ref. I thoroughly enjoyed my quiche, main ingredient eggs. Yum, chicken ovulation! Given that I have no problem eating the actual bodies of chickens, I don't think I can object to eating their periods (check out Léonie's page if you are completely befuddled by this talk of chicken periods and ovulation and don't see how I can jump from talk of pleasant weather to quiche to ovulation).
Anyway, the downpour is over and at least two types of birds are making happy little chirpy noises and celebrating this. I have returned to the computer lab and am attempting and failing dismally to do some work that I need to have done by tomorrow. All this pleasant weather is distracting. It makes me want to lie outside with the very good book I have just started. Bring back the frost, I say! Who cares about the uplift in mood the sun creates? In the interests of a productive working environment, it needs to be about 10 degrees and overcast. Or maybe I'm just using nice weather as an excuse to do no work, rather than just accepting that I generally do no work regardless of the weather. No, it's definately the weather. Shut up, stupid happy birds! Oh good, it's started to rain again. Maybe now that I have no excuse to want to be outside enjoying myself and will do some work. Yes, I know, not likely. But I can only hope! |
| posted by Cecilia @ 2:48 pm |
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