So, seeing as I'm at uni and doing no work, I may as well use my time productively and tell you all about My First Ever Hen's Night and My First Ever Wedding. Well, not my own first hen's night and wedding (given that I'm a confirmed 'spinster of this parish'), but the very first ones I've ever been too. As a guest, that is. I've been to at least 40 wedding receptions as a waitress! The saturday before last was the hen's night. I must admit that I was dreading it somewhat. The 'hen' is an old schoolfriend of mine. I wasn't even sure that I'd be invited to the wedding. I only see her a few times a year, and then always at group social functions like Australia Day BBQs or housewarming parties and things like that. We always get on well enough though, and have had great fun in the past plotting birthday jokes to play on a mutual friend. Some of the people I was expecting to go to the hen's night aren't really friends of mine - I know them from school and say 'hi' to them if I bump into them on the street - I think they're a bit boring and we have nothing in common. Nice enough though. And then I was expecting to see my travelling companion from last year. I have never shared with you all the details of my trip away, but to put it shortly, my companion cried every day, often twice a day, for her home, parents and most notably boyfriend. She put me down continuously (apparantly it's a crime to shave your legs, pluck your eyebrows and trust me, don't reach for the mascara) and was just so negative all the time. Plus she hates shopping (yes, I'm pretty sure she's female. Well, at least 90% sure), museums (and we were in London and Europe) and isn't that keen on too much history (yes, we were running out of activities). Our trip away culminated in her coming home two weeks early (thank F***) but this left me alone in Edinburgh for my birthday (a bit lonely, I don't mind admitting). I've only seen her a few times this year, again at group social events, and have been scandalised to hear her tell people what a fantastic time she had overseas. I've wanted to rip out her lying little throat, actually. Plus then she told BLATANT LIES to Bug about something I'd supposedly said about Bug to her (not nice things, either), and I haven't seen her since then. So, wasn't really looking forward to the hen's night. It ended up being okay, though. Just drank lots of tequila and was able to participate in the activities few activities there were with enthusiasm (like pin the cucumber on the 'hunk'. And yes, it was an actual blow-up cucumber. I'm not being polite). It was a bit of a fizzer, though. Only about 10 of her friends showed up (and they'd booked a function room set for 25 people), and a few rellies including her mother, future mother-in-law and futher grandmother-in-law. Considering she'd invited 130 people to the wedding, a few more could have turned out for the hen's night. The wildest the night got was the hen wearing a singlet top with lifesavers lightly stiched on for men to eat off when we went out afterwards. I had to pick my jaw back up from the ground though when travelling companion introduced me to her workmates (whom we saw out) as her 'best mate'. I've only seen her about 5 times this year! And she alluded to when I'd be her bridesmaid and be throwing her a hen's night (oh, you just WAIT!). And then the wedding. I had been alternating between excitement at my very first wedding, and fear at what was to come (namely seeing the bloke who used to be my best male friend this time last year and now I dread seeing, avoided all week - he lives in another state and was down for the wedding - and when we now speak it's so awkward because he 'came onto me' and I freaked out and pretty much threw him out of my house with some very bad lies about being busy, oh, and slow dances where I have to go sit out like a loser because I have no partner, and weddings are very partner-orientated events, usually). The ceremony was nice and short and took place in the botanical gardens. The only drawback was they had it at the gazebo which is in the gardens near a pretty main road, so a couple of times you couldn't hear what was going on because of loud trucks. I found it to be a really surreal experience. Here's someone I've know for the past 10 years, seen grow up, and is my friend, now dedicating her life to someone. It just seems so grown-up! I'm that old now my contemporaries are getting married!! Mind you, several of them already have children, and have bought houses and been with their partners for literally years and years, but still, marriage! It was like, there's a bride over there and she's my friend! The bride looked excellent, though. I know, I know, all brides are supposed to look radiant and beautiful, but hey, if you haven't got it, you haven't got it. You may look good for you, but not good by that awful thing, society's general view on what is attractive. But this bride looked really good. [All uninterested male readers tune out for a dress description now] She's borrowed a dress, and it was made of really heavy white satin and the bodice was embroidered with red flowers. It was strapless, and kind of flowed down into a full skirt from midway down her ribcage, hiding a curvaceous stomach and strong thighs. Perfect for her figure. And she had the sweetest blonde ringlets too. So, I actually enjoyed myself immensly at the reception. Another old friend of mine who's single (and was back from another state for the wedding) and I were put on a 'couples table'. There were two tables full of single people, and then us on a couples table. We just called ourselves the lesbian couple in order to fit in with our table (all the couples were old friends too though). For the wedding waltz, that starts off with the bride and groom, then the bridesmaid and groomsman, then all other couples, my female friend and I took to the floor (well, we must have been a couple to get on that table), then realised that we were the only girls dancing together and ran off to get some males. I got another old friend out on the floor, and my 'girlfriend' took my ex-best-male-friend as her partner. He threw me 'looks' over her shoulder. I may have given my old friend the wrong impression, though. Honestly, you have to be so careful! I just wanted a bloke to dance with and this poor fellow always sits out slow songs so I dragged him up (willingly!) for a dance. Since Saturday night though he's sent me a text message and an email (we have never emailed and texted before), inviting me to two different social outings. It was just like a massive reunion, and I danced pretty much every single song except for one slow one at the end. I had heaps of fun, and it was great! Nothing to be scared of! Except for my ex-best-male-friend only dancing about two songs and spending the rest of his time staring broodingly and, well, just darkly at me dancing while he had another swig from his beer. I think I may even post some photos of me and the bride. Or maybe not. If I did that, any one of those 'old friends' who stumbled over this blog would know who I am, even if I blanked out my face! Yes, I know, I'm a scaredy cat! But so much personal stuff is here that I definately want to be anonymous! |
But how likely is anyone to actually stumble across this? Only if they did so through el Perko or Boo, and he's unlikely to still speak to them, although I suppose she might
Nah, blank out faces and put it on. Do it at my house so we can laugh meanly!