Tonight was the first night I've been out with Boo for AGES. I mean, we've met up for drinks and had some after midnighters, but this is this first night we've been OUT for months. She works in hospitality and almost always works Saturday or Sunday or both, and on her off days she's usually with Bumpkin but he was working and she had an early shift Saturday and a late shift Sunday, so she could afford a late girly night * Anyway, I was out with our friend, DJ MC, most of today and he and I met up with Boo about 4 when she finished work. We went for a bit of a drive and then went to one of our pubs for "a drink or two". Of course, it turned into about 7 (I was on lemon, lime and bitters. I WISH I had my full licence!) and then DJ realised he'd been invited to his friend Patrick's house cooling (you have a house warming when you move in and a house cooling when you move out, duh!) * So I dropped DJ at Patrick's house and he insisted that Boo and I should come in, even though it was ALL Pat's rellies (and how scary can THAT be??), and let's just say I didn't really argue * Let's clarify for a second here: DJ and Pat have been REALLY tight for about 6 years but for various reasons (mostly geographic), I've never actually met him. Boo snogged him once at a Grade 11 party (as you do in Grade 11) and I knew WHO he was and had seen him around, but I'd never actually talked to him. But a few days ago I met up with the two boys and we went for a drink, and then Boo met us and we had a really excellent night, talking about music and sharing a cheese platter and drinking wine and cocktails (I know, it sounds all boring and middle-aged to me as I'm writing this but it was GREAT fun) and I ended up really liking Patrick who, it turns out, is LOVELY and CUTE and a little bit self-deprecating (which I love) and smart and listened when I talked and was smiley and just... nice. And not in that annoying NICE way, just nice * So yeah. Crush. Kinda big crush (before you tut tut and shake your head like "here we go again", I'm not a serial crusher. I FANCY lots of boys, but I don't CRUSH on the same amount of boys. Thinking a guy is downright bonkable is different from thinking he'd fit in well at dinner with my family - who are a force to be reckoned with, just so you know - and there aren't very many guys who would. I wrote off my friend Alex's brother as utterly unattainable and no-point-trying-he's-totally-out-of-my-league a while back and William, my friend, has progressed to just a so-glad-I-know-him friend, so I have been crushless for a bit). In fact, Patrick's the kind of crush where I've been daydreaming and staring out the window thinking about him and wishing I was thinner and prettier and more his type. Grr *
Anyway. We went in and Pat was fine, happy to see us and happy to have us there (and introduced Boo and I to his Nanna as his friends, which was lovely considering we didn't meet him all that long ago) and we were hanging out quite happily till Boo and I discovered that there was a girl asleep in his room. Now, I don't know the story of why she was there, exactly. I'm not sure what exactly, if anything, she and Pat had done. But she was there. And I was unthrilled about it. Especially when she woke up and came out and was sitting there while we were talking. So I convinced Boo to leave and we left DJ at Pat's house (DJ's off to Indonesia for a month tomorrow - BRAVE LAD! - so he and Pat had a bit of a farewell) and we arranged to meet them later *
She and I went to T42, our favourite pub (well, it's a bar, really) and chilled there for a couple of hours, while Boo fizzed up in raptures about the doorman, who is a long standing adore-from-afar of hers (although not tonight! She talked OODLES to him tonight, I was SO proud!) and about Rob, the only guy she's ever been serious about (and who she FULL ON GROPED tonight - it was a good night for my Boo! Go you good thing!!) and we met up with one of her workmates (who EVERYone seems to be trying to hook me up with. STOP PIMPING ME OUT, DUDES! I'm not the easy - ha! - option for guys who want a random shag!) then headed over to Irish, where DJ and Pat and their mates were *
DJ was off talking to his random friends (and OH they're random!) while she and I talked to Pat and her workmate and some other sifters. Oh, and did I mention the asleep-in-his-room girl was there? Yeah, she was there. And I went over to the corner for a smoke (I know! It's disgusting and unhealthy and so not the done thing but I was feeling stressed out and fat and blah so fuck it, I wanted one) and was talking to Boo's workmate (who is quite personable, but NO, I will not be sleeping with him like everyone wants me to) when I looked over and thought I saw Patrick snogging the random bedroom chick. I went over and (subtley, don't worry) asked Boo if that's what'd gone on and she said yeah, she'd tried to break it up but sorry, kiss kiss * After that, I wasn't really in a going out mood, so I made sure she was ok and happy to stay out with them and drove to the bottle shop (mango, passionfruit and ginseng, not sick of this wine yet!) and came home to get a cuddle from my cat, since HE loves me * I just... I get really sick of it. I'm fairly violently independent. I HATE people laying claim to me and I INSIST on my life being my own and not being dictated by other people but sometimes, I just want someone to kiss and watch daggy movies with on the couch. Couples who live in each other's pockets, and I know a few, freak me out in a big time hardcore way but I'd like to find someone who gives me a fizzy feeling in my tummy AND is just gnarly to hang out with but I've been single for a hundred thousand years, give or take a year or two. It's not like I don't know who I am if I don't have a boyfriend, but it would be SO NICE to meet a guy who both liked me and DIDN'T think I'd be a random fun shag, you know? Oh come on, you know what I mean * What does everyone else have? Why is it harder for me? And honestly, it is. A girl I went to school with, who is not pretty (not that it should matter but, come on, you know it does) and is very overweight and is really quite stupid and not even a cool chick to make up for it, she has boyfriends. A nasty bogan in the bus mall has a boyfriend (although spray on black jeans don't really do it for me). Why is it that much harder for me? Why am I the one night stand girl? Why do the guys I fall for always have a type that is the OPPOSITE of me? Don't get me wrong, I almost always end up good FRIENDS with the guy, but it's not the same by a long shot, is it?
* I have some really good friends, some good, some great and some out-of-this-world-fantastic, but why don't I have someone to cuddle up with? I'm not even particularly LOOKING for that person! But why, in the long run, has that person not appeared? Or even someone willing to give it a shot?
* You know? * * Update To clarify, Boo was talking about how the doorman-from-afar gave her "palpitations", I heard it as "cow pats" (and yes, I was sober) and the boys at the table next to us made it "cow pat-pitations". I suspect you had to be there but OH it was funny |
well at least you had a good night, aside from the guy...it's bad, but if it was me i'd be thinking 'pah! minor detail..' about that other girl.
this is kind of how im feeling about the situation with the boy, and it's driving me INSANE