Generally I'm a pretty assertive person. I say what I think without beating about the bush (although I've never quite understood that phrase) and I will NOT lie so I often offend people by not sugar-coating my words. I won't take crap from companies who are messing me around and I say no to telemarketers. If someone's pissing me off I'll tell them so and if I don't like someone then I don't pretend to be nice to their face and then bitch behind their back, I just don't talk to them (I don't give them the silent treatment though cos, hello! Not 15-years-old!) But I'm stuck over what to do just now. There's a guy I met a couple of weeks back at a friend's birthday who is good looking, very nice, reasonably intelligent, quite gentlemanly and who fancies me. Sounds good right? Yeah no. He leaves me COLD! I don't know why cos he should be my type actually (although he IS short and I like my boys tall) but you know how even between strictly platonic friends there's usually SOME sort of attraction? I don't even have THAT! I feel NOTHING! Actually that's not true. I actually feel kind of exasperated by him Boo thinks that it's because he's like the girl of the two of us. As in, he was snuggling up to me last night when we were out drinking (I'm not seeing him but I didn't mind hanging out with him, friends are good) - and I mean SNUGGLING, with his arms around my waist and his head tucked in to the crook of my neck (told you he was short) - and talking about being hurt in his previous relationships and he sent Boo a text message saying that I'm "an amasing girl" (note: I INSIST on correct spelling. I'm anally retentive that way) and I know that all sounds like it should be fabulous, but I just DON'T want it. It's freaking me out, actually! So my question is this: how do I make him back the fuck off without being mean? He messages me every day and wants to catch up all the time and invited me over to his place (just no) and I don't want any of it. But I don't want to hurt his feelings cos he's a nice guy and Hobart's too small a place to successfully avoid anyone Blecch |
Oh that is tricky! I think I would react the same way as you are. I mean, he likes you. So that's nice. And he's nice. So that's... nice. But if you're not feeling it you're not feeling it and you can't change that.
The thing is, though, that he likes you a lot and is of course going to be hurt that you don't feel the same. But you can't change that any more than he can change how he feels about you, so don't feel guilty about it.
Easier said than done, I know, but you can't pretend to like him, so you have to tell him sooner rather than later, for both of your sakes.
Don't beat yourself up about it though. You are lovely, from what I can gather!
And also? The spelling thing would REALLY annoy me too.