How do you know when you're in love with someone? * What is the difference between a crush, or infatuation, or the real thing? * If you suspect it's something more than just a lustful physical-type thing, how do you STOP it from progressing? * With the SOE, I knew it was love from the second time I saw him. The first time, it was instant, ridiculous crush; the second time, I didn't even need to think about it. Not for one second did I question how deeply I felt, I just felt it in my bones * With my first ever (vaguely obsessive) boyfriend, I knew that much as I adored and loved him, I wasn't IN love with him * But with the Married Man, who is yes, far and away beYOND limits, I just don't know. If he comes near me I pause, waiting to see where he'll walk. If he talks, everyone else in the room goes silent so I can hear his voice. If he laughs, I feel my face go red as I try not to laugh along with him, just cos he's so cute. When he stretches, I want to run my fingertips along his forearms * I don't know what to do. I don't KNOW if I'm in love (and I suspect the not knowing means I'm not which GOOD, MARRIED! SO wrong!) but I'm definitely besotted, which isn't a great deal better, more so because I work for nine hours on the same floor as him 5 days a week * Unfairly, I can't turn off my feelings here and I LOATHE that. I'm very used to being in control and being independent and I'm not sure what to do with myself when I'm feeling pretty ashamed of myself for even the fancying thing and kind of disgusted for the kissing and whatever * I'm a fucking mess, really. And a confused fucking mess at that |
It's a crush.