So I went out last night (and went all black, like gothic and slightly evil looking - I looked wicked. Oh, but I had white earrings and white undies? Does that count?) and got silly and did silly things. But the silliest thing I did was actually WELL before I started drinking: Ok, Boo and I have this routine. We used to live together, back when we had money, and we went out with various combinations of our friends every single night. I don't know how I did it - I was earning $320 a week (I know. SLAVES get paid more than I did), paying $120 a week on power, rent and phone, and drinking the rest. I do NOT know how I lived. But anyway. We would drive to the pub in Boo's car every night and if we ended up having a bender, we'd just leave the car there, taxi home and take my car in to pick up the other one in the morning. All good? Understanding so far? Cool Alright, so I had this black and white 21st that started at 7.30, but I mean, it's a RULE that you don't turn up to a party until at least an hour in, right? And Boo was working till 11 so I couldn't muck around with her. So I drove around, went to visit my friend Arnie, had a (non-alcoholic, I'm a P-plater!) drink at my favourite pub with my favourite bartender (so cute, so so cute), and turned up at the party a bit after 8.30. I left my car under a street light in Salamanca Place so Boo and I could pick it up today, then went and had a drunken, silly, quite fun night (I'm just going to interrupt myself here to say that Boo is NOT my girlfriend. I know I talk about her all the time and I don't seem to do anything without her - although I do - but we're just mates. Was it Jay and Silent Bob who described themselves as "heterosexual life partners"? Yeah, that's us) ANYway, I was lounging around in bed this morning and Boo came in and we were gasbagging about last night when she sat BOLT upright and said "Oh my god, where did you park??". I told her where and she said "The market!!". Every Saturday, the whole of Salamanca is closed off and there's this enormous, kind of cool, market. And any car parked in Salamanca after 4am? TOWED!!! And I KNOW that! Arnie is a bouncer at a Salamanca club - I've seen the cars be towed! Oh god. So she rang the police (she's got the uniform fetish thing) and asked where the car would've been towed to and the cop on the phone (who was apparently flirting up a storm at his end, cos Boo was all silly and giggly at this end) said he'd find out and call back. The upshot was that the council doesn't impound towed cars from Salamanca - thank CHRIST - they just tow them around to another carpark not far from there and leave them. No charge. No worries! We chucked on the grossest clothes (don't EVEN ask) and she drove us in to the carpark. Where my car was NOT Gah Tried the next carpark over. No car GAH Boo told me then that the cop had said that if it wasn't in the carpark, it was quite possibly stolen. Oh gee THANKS! GAH GAH GAH She parked her car and we walked over to speak to someone at the council's information stall when what did we see? SITTING RIGHT WHERE I'D PARKED IT? Go on, guess. Two points if you get it right Yup, it hadn't been towed at all, there was just some takeaway food van blocking it into the space So it's all good! After AGONISING all morning over WHAT THE FUCK I was going to DO and HOW THE FUCK I was going to PAY for this (I have no real job, remember!) and WHEN THE FUCK was I going to get my car back, all I have to do is wait an hour and a half till the market closes and drive my baby home Actually, I'm going to go for a BIG drive because I CAN p.s. Oh, and in case you were wondering (and I know you were cos you SHOULD have been), Ethel the Frog were GNARLY. And Jeremy, the lead singer, makes my knees all wobbly, he's SO SEXY |
That would be exactly what would happpen to me. Right down to the nasty clothes. Very funny...!