| Tuesday, February 07, 2006 |
| On tinia, body pump and The Horny Time. |
On Tinia
So, for the first time in my life I have tinia. To all those who aren't familiar with this very common (so the pharmacist assured me), highly contagious and VERY VERY ITCHY disease, it is a charming fungal virus that lingers on hard surfaces, such as pools, jumping on your nice healthy feet as you walk the five paces from the edge of the pool to your thongs (Americans among us, please replace 'thongs' with 'flip-flops'. I had a bit of a freak-out last night - it went like this "Oh my GOD! I have FUNGUS! It's crawling all over my feet, DEVOURING my skin! Ew Fungus EW fungus EW EW Oh my God FUNGUS!!!! (SCRATCH SCRATCH SCRATCH SCRATCH RUB-RUB SCRATCH)
On Body Pump
So, I've conquered my fears of going to gym classes and have, for the past two weeks, been going to body pump. With my mother, who is extremely unfit and has very weak muscles. For anyone who isn't familiar with body pump, it involves doing lots of squats holding a long weighted barbell across your shoulders, then some clean and jerks with squats, and then you drop to the mat and do 'bicep and tricep work' with your barbell. Oh, and throw in quite a few pushups and situps and the worst exercise thing in the world, something-beginning-with-e squats, which is where one leg goes behind the other, like you've just taken a big stride, and you go up and down LOTS. After the first time my thighs were so sore and I was in lots of pain going up and down steps. I had to lean heavily on the railing, going up very slowly holding my knees stiff, and down on my toes, again with stiff knees, to minimise the pain of putting weight on my thighs as you push up steps. As my office at uni is on the fifth floor I have to go up four flights of stairs, so I would linger in the corridor until there was no-one around to watch me doing my strange stairclimbing.
Despite being tired out with shaking legs and arms (and only halfway through the class) I just can't stop smiling. I know, crazy. Not because I'm happy to be there being tortured, but because it's just so damn funny, all these 'reasonable adults', who crowd into a room and squat away to music, pushing themselves to their limits and having 'encouragement' yelled at them by a 'motivating' instructor ("Aaaand SQUEEZE up" You can do it - "SQUEEZE"!!).
I'm a bit embarrassed though. Every other person in the class has a minimum of five kilos on their bars, and most have a minimum of seven or ten. And they're not young people. It's pretty much all women, all over the age of thirty. Most over the age of forty. And for particular tracks the instructor says 'lock and load' and they all load more onto their bar from the pile of weights beside them. And I just stick with my baby weights of two kilos the whole time.
On The Horny Time
So, all of this exercise (I'm going to aqua aerobics twice a week - very fun despite the tinia, body pump once a week, and normal aerobics one a week) is having some side effects. I know exercise is supposed to produce endorphines and make you feel happy, but instead it's released pheromones(I have no idea if that's the right word here) that have me lusting after pretty much every male between the ages of about 18 to 30. And it's not even The Horny Time. Oh God, what will I be like during The Horny Time?? The Horny Time has already had me lusting after Tufty, a young man at the gym, nicknamed 'Tufty' by Bug and I due to the large tufts of underarm hair that protrude out from under his arms in every direction (trust me, he's not the kind of guy you would be lusting after during normal circumstances). To those people (mainly males I would say) who aren't familiar with The Horny Time, there's a certain time during a woman's menstrual (gosh I hate that word) cycle that lasts for a few days when she goes a little, ummm, horny, randy, lustful. It happens to be the most fertile time of the month for a woman, so some inner prehistoric urge is telling us to procreate and go and get some sperm.
So, if I'm already lusting after random not-usually-lustworthy males, what on earth will happen during The Horny Time? I will have to stay inside, away from members of the opposite sex. Or perhaps I'll go bush, and separate myself from society. |
posted by Cecilia @ 12:51 pm  |
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| 2 Rantings: |
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Tufty isn't UGLY, Ceci. I mean, he's not exactly Paul Newman but he's not Rodney Dangerfield either!
You know what I think you should do with your Hormonals, if and when they hit? Take adVANtage of them and go out on the town and at LEAST snog a random on the dance floor. It's FUN! And it blows off at least a little bit of that... ENERGY you have
You're doing WAAAAAAAAY too much exercise. The only activity I have lately is walking from my car to the office and back. Stop it right now before you buy yoga pants and a cropped lycra top!
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tinia...? doesnt sound fun. you maybe want to not mention it to anyone youll be spending your excess energy on!
i think you should go with bugs suggestion though!
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Tufty isn't UGLY, Ceci. I mean, he's not exactly Paul Newman but he's not Rodney Dangerfield either!
You know what I think you should do with your Hormonals, if and when they hit? Take adVANtage of them and go out on the town and at LEAST snog a random on the dance floor. It's FUN! And it blows off at least a little bit of that... ENERGY you have
You're doing WAAAAAAAAY too much exercise. The only activity I have lately is walking from my car to the office and back. Stop it right now before you buy yoga pants and a cropped lycra top!