| Sunday, September 03, 2006 |
| Losing to God |
I've just been upstairs having a jolly good old cry to my parents, mum in particular. I'm just so upset and disturbed. Still crying now, actually. I've just lost a best friend to God. Not Buggy darling, but my other very dear, very close friend. I've probably referred to her in the past, goodness knows by what name, so lets just call her Jess. I have stood by Jess since we first met in year 7, when we were 12, and she by me. After being under her 'spell' for the first year of our friendship, I got sick of her calling the shots and from then on told her when she was acting like a bitch, or I didn't agree with her actions, and I didn't hang about with her at school any more, but we were still very best friends, maybe because I was one of the few people who didn't pander to her. And remained very best friends, until this very evening. I stayed by her through her pregnancy, my family pretty much adopted her as another daughter, and I've supported her through her severe depression, that last year had me at my wits end as she rang me up endlessly crying because she wanted to kill herself and didn't want to live anymore.
Last year she found God. She joined a Christian church, and became a born again Christian, bible-study groups and all. She was even baptised there this year. I went along, and I cried because I was just so happy for her and I saw it as a whole new phase of her life, with her overcoming her depression (to some degree) and being happy again. God now speaks to her directly sometimes in church, and they have 'healing' sessions when they get people up on stage individually and pray for them and heal them, oh, and sometimes people faint because they are filled with the holy spirit, and some talk in tongues.
Absolutely fine with me. No worries. Anything that makes her happy and gives her life some direction and meaning, although I did get a bit annoyed with her constantly referring to 'Catholics' as being bad and following the wrong path and 'Christians' being right, and constantly told her that 'Catholics ARE Christians, it's just all Christians aren't Catholics! Catholisism is just one way of following Christianity!' Being a Catholic, nominally at least, I got sick of being told I wasn't a Christian.
I am a woman of science (very grandiose statement, that one!). Do I believe that God created all the animals and people in one arvo? No. Sorry, but the fossil evidence and the geological record provides evidence that it's just not possible. Darwin's theory of evolution, folks. Did God create life though? Well, very possibly. I'm quite happy to believe that he did create those single-celled organisms in the primordial swamp that started to produce nitrogen and then change the atmosphere to be favourable to other forms of life, and that he has something to do with our souls and personalities.
Tonight on the telephone after a fantastic hour and a half conversation with Jess where she told me everything that's been happening in her life and we reminisced and joked (I'd found this story I'd written in year 11 about year 10 with all of these things that happened we'd totally forgotten about) I concluded with:
'So, did Maddy (her 4 year old daughter) watch the dinosaur show tonight?'
'Oh, she watched it last week', Jess replied. 'But it's so hard, because they kept saying things like "millions of years ago when the dinosaurs were alive, and they weren't."
'What?' I said.
'Well, the earth is only 60,000 years old, so the dinosaurs can't have been alive millions of years ago.'
'The earth only 60,000 years old?' I repied in bewilderment. 'It's millions of millions of years old.' 3.4 billion, to be more exact, if I can remember correctly from first year uni, but I didn't say that.
"But the bible tells us that it's only 60,000 years old, and that's what I believe because I believe in God."
'What?' I said, still totally dumbfounded.
"The earth is only 60,000 years old. There's evidence to support that. This man found this rock from a volcano that all the experts said had taken thousands of years to form and he said it had been formed in one afternoon and eventually he was proved right. One day everyone will realise that they're wrong and the bible is right."
"But some rocks are only formed in one afternoon following volcanic eruptions." I said most logically, I thought (having studied university Geology for a year I do know the basics about rocks).
"Yes but everyone said this man was wrong and he was proved right. The chapter in the bible that says 'and Moses lived 900 years and his son lived 600 years . .' is just in there to allow us to calculate the age of the earth. People have worked out from that that the earth is between 60,000 to 65,000 years old. It's going to be so hard when Maddy goes to school, because she's going to be learning things that are against the bible and I'm going to have to tell her that what she's learning is wrong and what we believe is right."
"But there's scientific evidence from the fossil record to support the age of the earth, and rock formation."
"And it's wrong. It's okay, I accept that you have different beliefs to me and that's okay. Have a pleasant night's sleep."
Our conversation ended rather abruptly at that point, with me saying goodnight very chillingly.
I was, and am, just so shocked. What's so bad about taking the bible so literally, I have no idea, but I'm just so disturbed by it all. She is now totally and utterly immune to reason (oh, she's already told me previously that I'm a sinner, and I wasn't really worried by that, because I personally believe that God doesn't mind if I get drunk, go out dancing, kiss boys, or even girls if I am that way inclined, because he loves everyone and I'm sure he was young once too). And I'm just so DISTURBED by the fact that she is teaching her 4 year old that the bible is utterly and totally the truth, and science is basically a pack of lies thought up by sinners. What's going to happen to Maddy? And as I am a woman of science, where the hell does that leave me? Wasting my entire life? How can she reasonably reject fossil evidence? The bible says nothing at all about dinosaurs roaming the earth at the time of Abraham, or even Moses, and they weren't mentioned in Genesis "and Adam and Eve were expelled from the Garden of Eden and thrown to the dinosaurs", so did they therefore never exist? Man wasn't around at the time of dinosaurs, and they weren't around from the time of Adam and Eve, so HOW THE HELL DO YOU EXPLAIN DINOSAURS YOU BRAINWASHING CHRISTIAN CULT???!!!
I was so upset that I went upstairs sobbing to my parents. They were quite shocked by her too, and said that she's been brainwashed, and there's no reasoning with people like that. Mum said that she's a very vulnerable person and she's just clung onto this. Yeah, I knew and accepted that that was what she was doing with this church, and I was happy that it has given her life meaning again and she's no longer suicidal. I'm still thankful that she's now not suicidal, and I hate to say it, that she's not so reliant on me now. But I'm just soooooooo upset by it all. I have lost a very good friend to God. And her God is not my nice, loving, forgiving god who accepts dogs and cats into heaven so they can be with their humans forever, her God is one who gave directions for the bible and the bible is right and that's it. How can she raise her daughter that the dinosaurs did not live millions of years ago?
And still my tears keep on a-rollin! What a sook I've become! |
posted by Cecilia @ 10:53 pm  |
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| 8 Rantings: |
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I think this is part of the reason that I find it hard to believe in a conventional 'God' as I like you cannot ignore all of the hard evidence.
It must be really upsetting for you and it is completely understandable that you are upset. I hope that your friendship can get past this.
Having a cry is good for you!
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Cheers Dancinfairy, and she's sent me a couple of random texts like she normally does (she gets free texts after 8 and totally makes the most of it) but I couldn't bring myself to reply. As one of them said 'what is poison oak?' and she doesn't believe in the evolutionary processes that have led to the formation of poison oak, I didn't think it was necessary. Yep, I'm still really disturbed and exasperated with and by her, and not sure if the friendship can get past this for me.
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Oh honey :( I know you and I don't have the same friendship as you and she, but you're still MY very best friend and if you want to come over anytime and rant and rave and cry and teach me about evolution, I'm here and I'll have a bottle of champagne waiting xoxo
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I guess it all depends on how you want to look at the whole process explained in the bible. Genesis talks about the world being created in 7 days but the bible also states many times that in gods eyes thousands of years are like a day. With this in mind each day could be thousands and thousands of years.
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EXCELLENT DOUG! That provides me with outstanding ammunition against her supposed biblical facts that is actually written in the Bible!
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Wow Doug. I never knew that. Kinda opens my eyes a little.
Cec, honey, you must tell us what happens if you and her ever have that conversation again and bring Doug's point up!
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Fantastic!
You interest me, I am glad to wish you happiness this day! Be well!
Peace and Love.
Dominic Ebacher
ebacherdom.blogspot.com
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I just wanted to add something - I went through a similar experience, with another Jess in another life of my own. It colored my life for a rather long time and still influences my perspective on religion and people and the infection of ideas that is belief rather than understanding.
For what its worth - you have a comrad in arms, should you ever need one in me.
I wish you peace.
Dominic Ebacher
ebacherdom.blogspot.com
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I think this is part of the reason that I find it hard to believe in a conventional 'God' as I like you cannot ignore all of the hard evidence.
It must be really upsetting for you and it is completely understandable that you are upset. I hope that your friendship can get past this.
Having a cry is good for you!