Why are they so prevalent? Why?? And why oh God WHY can I not resist them? They're MEAN. They're ARSEY. They're BASTARDS (to be fair, they're rarely stupid but STILL!)

Ok, imagine you're a girl. Who's more likely to be described as curvy than svelte - I would just like to interrupt myself here to say that no, I'm NOT calling myself fat, I don't think I AM fat, I just have hips and boobs and a bum (which gets more and more comfy to sit on the more weight I put on so I don't CARE) - and who has a family where looks are not only important, they're commented on. A lot. At the dinner table. At Christmas. WHILE you're eating your third helping of potato bake. Which is why I no longer have second or third (or fourth) helpings

Ok, imagining that? Got it? Now, would you not be reasonably sensitive to criticism about your looks? So ok, now you're in the girly mind frame, imagine the 'man' (ha! BOY!) you've been mad on for almost four years (and who's a cheating, slutty bastard - but cute. Oh, SO cute) tells you, pretty much out of the blue, that you need to do 'some ab work'. What do you do??? Do you laugh it off? Smile indulgently and change the topic like you have forty times before? Or do you decide that enough's enough and that you're not taking it anymore and that you're cutting off contact for good like you should've done three years ago? And then when he's on MSN Messenger writing to you and you're not replying and he's saying things like 'lol and u reckon I was an ass', do you reply with something suitably scathing or do you take the mature road and ignore him still? Especially when despite your resolve you really WANT to talk to him cos it's a HABIT now, by God!

HELP! I need advice! And possibly some more wine. Ooh wait? I have some? Oh gnarly . . . !